Biff Claymore is "The Love Bloat."

I SPENT ALL NIGHT GETTING THE POWER UP AND WINNING THE GAME. GIRLS ARE ICKY.

Professional hairball Zack Traylor. It's like a pregnant spider fell on top of his malformed skull when he was playing his last game of Mario Brothers or whatever the fuck game you idiot kids play.

Stephanie Mannings' married the smartest man in the world. Notice her blue ring, which is actually a birth control pill.

A rockin' night on the town with the Appleton City Merril Lynch employees. No wonder I lost the shitload of cash they invested in Manwich.

Jerry Marks tries to play that shit music they play on the radio these days. I can't even turn on the goddamn radio without hearing some whiny suburban white shitheads bitching about how life is cruel because Krogers is out of turkey or whatever the hell they bitch about. If it doesn't have a brass section or one of those bigass fucking drums that the guy hits with a huge mallet, it ain't music.