The weight lifting event in the South Appleton Flab Olympics.

PLEASE WELCOME THE KITCHEN DYNAMO!

No comment.

"RROOOWWWWRRR! God has forsaken this entire hellhole town! WAARRRWWW!!!"

Marcus Sterling shows off his new stuffed monkey. Don't even try to guess what it's stuffed with.

PASTRY MAGICIAN: "And for my final trick, I will make the roast beef disappear!"

AUDIENCE: "Our appetites just disappeared."

PASTRY MAGICIAN: "No refunds."

No, nobody has replied to your personal ad on the computer, you braindead simp. Not too many other guys are interested in dressing up like the cast from "Family Ties" and letting you piss on them.