Adrianne Mavis kisses the wooden Indian. Seeing her ugly mug makes me want to kiss the damn toilet bowl and puke my breakfast into it.

TEACH CHILDREN THE ALPHABET THROUGH SHEER, PAINFUL TERROR!!!

TEACH CHILDREN MATHEMATICS THROUGH INTENSE, DEGRADING HUMILIATION!!!

Through the miracles of technology, scientists are able to compress 7000 pounds of fleshy, misshapen face into such a tiny little picture. This is why I hardly ever use my computer and why I drink so damn much.

Guess the gender and win a prize. The prize is allowing you to smash a brick into your monitor so you'll never be exposed to this little shitbag who spends all day on his skateboard outside the Appleton Plaza mall. Get a job, you shitskulled neckfucker.

"Hello ladies! Why yes, I am a sensitive man! And oh look, I got the power up and won the game!"