Congratulations. You have a ratty dog and a hardon. Your parents must be so very pleased, assuming they haven't already put a bullet through their skulls.

Merry Christmas. Your gift is a jackoff-in-the-box.

The criminal mastermind behind The Great Pork Heist of '98 is finally apprehended.

Pillsbury Dominatrix Enrico Escobar obviously enjoys the taste of flab. Let this be a warning to any more of you freaks looking to move into the Appleton area.

THE UNHOLY POTATO DEMANDS VENGEANCE!!!

"ROWWR! Holy shit, does her neck not end or does her chin never begin?!? ROOOOOOOWWWWWRRRR!!!"

Uglycat, that wasn't very funny.

"RAAAWWWWRRR! Oh, and your endless comments about people being mutants or flaming homosexuals are?!? ROOWWWRR!"

You're getting on my damn nerves, Uglycat!!!

"Rawwwr! Oh cry me a river, you withered up dirtbag. RRRROOWWRRR!"