The Video Game Heist Of The Century, Dark Souls II, Don't Buy The War Z

Thieves Steal 7,000 Wii U Consoles, Inadvertently Sentence Themselves To 21,000 Hours Of Downloading Software Updates

In a heist near Washington's SeaTec airport, thieves managed to intercept a shipment of 7,000 Wii U units. The estimated worth of the haul is over $2 million, or one million $2 bills taped together. The daring robbery led to concerns over the Wii U's availability in the area, but that was soon dismissed. The shipment was heading for a local Wal-Mart which already has 8,000 unsold Wii U consoles sitting on its shelves.

Dark Souls II Promises To Be More Friendly To Newcomers. No Wait, It Won't Lose Its Edge, But It Will Be Easier To Get Into. Wait, It Won't Be Easy...

A spokesperson for From Software recently revealed that the studio plans to make Dark Souls II easier for newcomers to get into. He was immediately vanquished by a single blast of outrage from fans of the series who thrive on its difficult nature. After regrouping, the spokesperson cautiously inched forward with a shield held before him, explaining that the difficulty would remain the same, but that obtuse elements would be presented in a more understandable manner. Relieved to make it through this second attempt unscathed, the spokesperson took a step backwards without looking and fell off a ledge.

Giving Money To The Makers Of The War Z Is Probably A Bad Idea

Hammerpoint Interactive is a bunch of jerks. Their game The War Z is, of course, the most blatant ripoff of DayZ imaginable. A couple of months ago, one of their developers called people who camped in the game faggots. The studio grudgingly issued a non-apology. You know the sort: "We're sorry to anyone that was offended. That guy didn't really mean those people were homosexuals, he was just using the word as an insult and we have no idea why that's a bad thing to do." Somehow, people stuck by them. Fans of the game claimed that the studio's critics were HATERS, some going so far as to suggest that it was good to have a developer so passionate about their game that they would get heated and use homophobic slurs. Now things have taken a turn for the worse.

Well, that's not necessarily true. This has been an amateurish, disgusting shitshow from the start. Anyone that couldn't see the project heading in a horrible direction was either fooling themselves or hadn't been paying attention to Hammerpoint Interactive, the company that set The War Z's respawn timer to 4 hours so they could charge people money to resume playing immediately.

The War Z went for sale on Steam. It's still a beta, but it wasn't labeled as such. The product page listed all sorts of features that simply were not in the game. People were rightfully pissed.

GameSpy conducted an amazing interview, in which Sergey Titov brushed off the false advertising as a mistake on the part of the consumers. He suggested that people do more research. He stated that when they claimed a server had "Up to 100" players when it only had the capacity for 50, they weren't lying since 50 is technically "up to" 100. You owe it to yourself to read that interview. It's rare for a developer to be such a blatant shithead and stupid enough to think that he could get away with being so deceptive. GameSpy's Dan Stapleton started off by giving the man a chance to clear the issues up, then grew incredulous at the responses he was getting.

People in the game's Steam forum began voicing their displeasure at being duped into buying a game that was nowhere near as advertised. Hammerpoint responded by banning people who complained, then the studio attempted to lay down their own personal set of forum rules. These new rules included highlights such as:

- No one can ask for refunds. All refund requests must be sent to the War Z website, where they can be silently ignored.
- No complaining about the game or announcing that you're quitting.
- No copying other people's work and claiming it as your own. (Reasonable in itself, and hilarious when you stop to consider The War Z in relation to DayZ.)

That's not all! The game's Terms Of Service agreement has been updated with language that attempts to claim that no customers are eligible to receive refunds. If this doesn't violate the laws of several countries, it does violate the International Don't Be A Bunch Of Colossal Jerks Act.

The game has, thankfully, been pulled from Steam, with Valve stepping in to do the right thing by offering refunds to all customers. It's troubling that the game showed up on Steam at all, to be honest. Going forward, they need to make sure that beta software is labeled as such, preferably right in the title of the listing. It would be even better if they stopped selling unfinished games altogether.

Of course, there are still people out there who saw this trainwreck as some sort of unfair attack on a small developer, fueled by HATERS and an impossibly corrupt cabal of video game journalism. They might plead for everyone else to calm down, to give the game a chance because it might eventually turn out to be good in spite of its problems.

These people have brains made of styrofoam. As long as Hammerpoint is the company that is making this game, they will continue to make terrible decisions, prey upon their customers, and be obnoxious assholes.

Forbes Discovers The Best Kickstarter Game

You should add Forbes' video game coverage to your bookmark rotation, particularly everything filed by Erik Kain. They present easily digestible, well-sourced articles with a great sense of perspective. Occasionally something like this happens and they out-goofy Video Game Article.

Planetside 2
Well worth the disorienting first half hour or so, but once you get comfortable don't start thinking that you pilot a flying vehicle, because they will always be impossible for non-savants. 8/10

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)