Barbie Vacation Adventure
"Barbie Vacation Adventure" is another old video game that was not very good. This means I have to play it or my family starves.
Castle of Dragon
Teenage girls, the homosexual agenda, and DARKLARZA making love to your significant other. All in a week's ROM Pit.
Chiller
"Chiller" for the NES was famous for being really gory, although not too famous because I'd never heard of it. Oh, how I long for those days.
Legacy of the Wizard
"Legacy of the Wizard" for the NES was intentionally designed to fuck you off!
Family Dog
"Family Dog" for the SNES teaches us not to abuse animals, because then they might star in their own platformer and flail about, ruining everyone's fun!
Clash at Demonhead
For this week only, Raptor Red puts a bunch of goddamn .pngs in your ROM Pit! Because "Clash at Demonhead" does not deserve words.
Lost Word of Jenny: Gamer Girls in the Making
This week, the ROM Pit gives us a look into the lives of two young gamer girls as Courtney and her BFF Heather review "The Lost Word of Jenny."
Jaws
The ROM Pit reviews "Jaws," a 1987 title for the Nintendo Entertainment System so bizarre that we started rooting for the shark.
Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom
There are people who say "Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom" was a good video game. There are also people who say the Holocaust never happened, but that doesn't make it right.
Cool World
Every single time a game is based on a movie, it sucks ass. This is no different.
DYNOWARZ: Destruction of Spondyus
The ROM Pit Reviews "DYNOWARZ: Destruction of Spondylus," a 1989 Nintendo game that has been scientifically proven to be the most immature concept ever to exist.
Where's Waldo?
Words are hard. That's why this week's ROM Pit is all pictures, all the time! It's also because "Where's Waldo?" is too terrible to review and Raptor Red is a lazy cunt.
Mario's Time Machine
This one should be somewhat familiar. If not, go to hell.
Trolls on Treasure Island
The worst thing about "Trolls on Treasure Island" is not that it's about a god-awful 1990s franchise, or even that this 1992 NES title has graphics that look like an Atari with extra chromosomes. No, the worst thing about "Trolls" is simply Octavio. He is also the besthing.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Even though the ROM Pit doesn't want to dampen the enthusiasm for the awesome "Sonic and the Black Knight," it's time we unleash our justice on an unfortunate mistake along the way: the deplorable "Sonic the Hedgehog 2." Think it was a good game? Prepare to have your world torn down.
PacMania 2
I never liked PacMan and this game sure a hell didn't change my mind. I honestly have no idea where these long descriptions show up and I think I am typing this for no reason.
Back to the Future II
The ROM Pit reviews the video game incarnation of “Back to the Future II,” and subsequently realizes that every goddamn NES game is a ripoff of 2-3 other NES games that managed not to suck.
Little Red Hood
Come to the glorious jungles of Taiwain with "Little Red Hood," a game which takes the wolf out of the classic fairy tale and replaces it with creepy child molestors. And stairs.
Godzilla - Monster of Monsters!
Raptor Red is unhappy about playing a shitty NES game about Godzilla. Her tears are sad. Sad, and tired.
Bronkie the Bronchiasaurus
"Bronkie the Bronchiosaurus" is an SNES game about dinosaurs with asthma. No, really.
ROBODEMONS
"Robodemons" was made by Color Dreams Inc, which is technically the same company that made "Bible Adventures" and other Jesus-tinged lore. Funny how their descend into hell is no more palatable!
X-perts
I know that games for the Rom Pit are supposed to be bad but this one takes the cake. Terrorist cake.
Warpspeed
Ah... 1993... Back then I was just a wee child stuck in a mountain town in North Carolina. We had a savage blizzard that knocked out the electricity for days. My dad shoveled the nearly 100 yard driveway to get beer so he would not go Jack Nicholson ala Shining on our asses.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure
Did you own "Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure" as a kid?! Of course you didn't because then you'd still be wandering around a bitmap somewhere!
Taz-Mania
Somebody rated "Taz Mania" 7.7 out of 10. This person needs to be hunted down and eaten.
Rambo
"Rambo" for the Nintendo Entertainment System is an excellent game if you like MANLY things! Except it's not because the only manly thing involved in it is an extremely tight manass. Hooray!
WWF Wrestlemania
The 1988 Nintendo game "WWF Wrestlemania" was basically everyone slobbing Hulk Hogan's knob. Please don't think about that in too much detail.
