Sword of the Bastard Elf

Gilganixon

Apparently we've summoned something. Turning to the relevant table...
...
It's been torn out. Great.

If any of you have a working memory of this book or, better still, are reading along with your own copy, could you please roll on the table and let me know what abomination we've let loose on the world with our horrible, horrible choices?

Arkanomen

Demon-summoning table was, if I recall correctly, 3d6 for stats with an additional 1d10 for a type.

1: Minor Imp
2: Shade
3: Animated Skeleton
4: Sex Demon
5: Sexy Demon
6: Cacodemon
7: Creepy Uncle
8: Hell Knight
9: Satan
0: Angel

Looks like it's a "Shade" with:

6x2: 12 Effort
4x1: 4 Toughness
2x1: 2 fists

Then again, I don't have the book or cards and we always just house ruled the game.

Applewhite

I don't have this book, but the Two-Fisted Fantasy Forums have a whole thread dedicated to hating on The Prince of Shards. Apparently he's "really creepy" and has a "weird face." Gave a lot of kids nightmares back in the day. He might be the monster summoned here.

Speleothing

I called my cousin and had him roll one for us on his copy of the book: Large PhalloKnight (pg 98)

But he was giggling a lot, so I think he may have just chosen the one with the grossest picture.

BadgerSeat

Whatever it is, play a game of chess with it for ridiculously high stakes

Gilganixon

Bestiary entry on those three, might help give you some idea of what we're dealing with:

BadgerSeat

My brain says prince of shards and my penis says phalloknight. I don't know which one to listen to

Gilganixon

Warning: This update involves a huge pile of cocks. If you are reading Sword of the Bastard Elf at work then make sure your boss isn't hanging around.

You asked for Phalloknight, you cannot un-ask for it.