Sword of the Bastard Elf

Gilganixon

We go on the offensive with a rousing speech (202):

And as we've decided to start using the boots (89):

The elf attack unfolds at a certain pace, as do our allies. We've seized the initiative and rushed ahead so now we're in a tight spot. Since the caravan is undefended and there are more elves coming from the other side it might be a good idea to blitz as quickly as possible, however it could get us killed or at least put our half-elf in danger.

This time, though, we have a few options - we can use one of the listed items (in most cases this will destroy the item) or we can attempt to fight these elves until the skeletons finish off their current fight. If we decide to fight it will use the rules for multiple combatants, which means that we pick a target each round, and that target is the only one that will be damaged if we win our attack - the other two will simply not damage us.

so it's
Pixie Bits
or
Condiments
or
Fight

Mojo Threepwood

Deploy the Pixie Bits.

Dr Cheeto

I have no idea what we'd do with the condiment packets but I want to find out!

the_steve

Use the condiment packets

Elves are a bunch of worthless stoners anyways, the pixie bits would probably do nothing they haven't already done to themselves.

Gilganixon

We use up our condiments, and this happens:

What should we do?

almost1337

We need to take the high ground, both literally by climbing on top of the caravan wagons and also by being better than our shiftless half-kin.

Outrail

This, and combine the Dapper Clothes and Codpiece

Gilganixon

We now have the Imposing Attire instead of that other garbage.

Moving on:

We move to defend the caravan. Turning to 80:

Decisions :

1 Do we want to beat the elf or should we throw the combat?

If we don't throw the combat:

2 What do we do about all these elves?

Mojo Threepwood

There's something scary coming out of the forest, and we agreed to protect this caravan. Let's stay in character by cowering behind trees and fleeing towards the town.

SaltyJesus

hock the pixie bits at the elves

Gilganixon

Thread seemed to want to use the Pixie Bits at last. Turning to 148: