Fireworks and Duds

One of the most exciting parts of this job, aside from getting over 100 pieces of junk mail a day, is that people randomly send me stupid pictures in hopes of getting them included in Phriday. That's never really happened, mainly because Phriday is and more than likely always will be a Something Awful Forums thing. In spite of mentioning the SA Forums in every Phriday ever, most people don't realize that it's the mysterious secret entrance. But then again, most people don't read anything I write since I got about 50 e-mails last week letting me know certain images were stolen from famous Far Side comic strips. At this point, I really don't think I could tell the difference between checking my e-mail and getting stuck in an elevator with science fiction writer Harlon Ellison. Both are intensely painful, grating, and soul-shattering experiences.

I do think it is appropriate to occasionally share the pain, and so I'm therefore including some of the fine reader submissions that have come my way over the last year, along with comments from the authors. Consider this is a rare opportunity to see raw, undeveloped talent in its most primal form: raw and undeveloped. As a necessary step to try to better our own egos by insulting lesser beings, I have attached a Fark.com tag to all of these images. They didn't come from Fark, but they're roughly on that level.

We'll start things off with a trio of winners from Phriday newcomer "xeV1Lb0Bx". Obviously this is a pathetic joke, but I sure do love pathetic jokes.

lo, Livestock how r u?
I Am A big fan of photoshop phriday, but Im not sure how to enter it. If I send these pics 2 u, will u b able to use them? Im a photoshop noob, so ur feedback would really help.

Thanx

xeV1Lb0Bx

Well, xeV1Lb0Bx, I think we can find a use for them!

Good job, xeV1Lb0Bx, your craftsmanship is impeccable and the humor is great! I especially like how you combined pirates, which are always good for laughs, with Ackbar. Very clever thinking, my boy.

Our next friend is Ian, who sent me a half dozen pictures showing off his skills.

sorry, I don't think the pictures sent..I added one of a girl that was dumb enough to send me her picture...

All of the pictures were pretty terrible, but most of them were just boring. I have included a sample, since it falls so much in line with what we do here week after week:

Moving on, we have Chris:

hey, ive been playing grand theft auto for the past five hours so i have alot mountian dew and blood lust flowing through me veins right now, the only thing that can top this is if you put one of my photoshop pics in now. NOW! (it would seriously be greatly appreciated if you could)

Even though you sent this to me several months ago, and it's no longer what you would consider "now", I am fulfilling your request. Not because you have any talent, but because there is a slim chance you might be dying of cancer and I'd be a rotten bastard to deny a dying person a simple wish, no matter how undeserved it is.

I really like that you took one of Phriday regular "geno1173's" pictures, and then brilliantly added in the Pope. Classy, not to mention funny as all hell! The second picture is pretty good as well, because Arabs love blowing shit up. So yeah, great stuff, Chris! Keep up the outstanding work.