I Will Die For PewDiePie

By now you've heard of the cadre of virtue signalling SJWs trying to RUIN famous youtube content yeller PewDiePie because of an allegedly anti-semitic video. Already the hated snow flake squad has left their mark on poor sweet PewDiePie by getting his contract with Disney terminated.

For one thing, it wasn't anti-semitic, it was satirical. "You can't make good satire without really sticking it to the jews" -one of the Southpark guys. Today's offense-taking brigade LOVES taking offense [hence their name] so much that they'd even go so far as to not give $1,000,000 to the guy who looks like a soccer star perpetually holding a press conference to apologize for cheating on his wife.

For those of you who have never heard of PewDiePie, here's a quick PewDiePie facts list:

• Invented "Let's Play", a type of upsetting youtube video where it's computer games
  
• Screams in the corner of the video like a Japanese variety show host reacting to a pun
• God's folly
• Seriously twisted sense of humour Stewie Family Guy
• Net worth of $1,000,000,000 - that's a cool billion baby
• Huge problem
• Sleeps in an actual racecar

If you don't have sympathy for Pewds himself, consider that PewDiePie's slickly produced Let's Play videos where he makes the noise 13 year old girls make at hunky boy pop stars at his TV screen each take $100,000 to produce and are worked on by a crew of hundreds. And uh oh breaking newsnow his scripted youtube show Scare PewDiePie where he screams at stuff in real life has also been cancelled.

DIRECTOR: OK PewDiePie, here we had the idea that you would walk up the corridor, blast the badguy with a shotgun, and then, when the "cutscene starts", just have a pretend one-sided conversation with their corpse. And don't be afraid to say the "F" word - have fun with it!

PEWDIEPIE: [laugh halfway between a yelp and a microwave beeping]

That director is dead now. PewDiePie couldn't afford to pay him, so he died. of starvation. I'm sorry that a man had to die just because you needed a, "safespace".

Now. I have never watched a PewDiePie video to completion. But not getting a gigantic novelty cheque for $1,000,000 from Disney is the very definition of censorship, and I will continue threatening random twitter accounts with open DMs until Disney and Maker studios renew their contact with Pewds, the carnival sideshow of 2017.

And if need be, I will give my life in service to PewDiePie, possibly in the context of a race war. I await further instruction.

Bro Fist,

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)