#5: A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Blood Craze 2

Freddy is back, pissed that he was defeated in his previous game, and determined more than ever to conquer the universe with his gang of hellishly horrific, uh, heirlooms. Can we defeat Chucky from "Child's Play," Freddy dressed up as a stupid snake, Freddy dressed up as a stupid spider, Freddy dressed up as a stupid bat, and various other stupid things? The answer is a resounding "maybe!" Haha, just kidding, we can't and / or don't.

#4: Torture

Okay so we captured this dude who totally deserves to be tortured. You know, because he did evil crap in his past and now he must atone for his sins, or something along those lines. I'm futilely attempting to justify why we're actively tearing the skin and muscles from some chained-up moron trapped in our basement of doom and power tools. I don't know, maybe I'm assigning too much of a plot to a plot-free game. Regardless, much like the name implies, you must torture somebody. If they die, you lose. If they live, you also lose, but in a slightly different way.

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