WELL WELL WELL!!!!!!!!!!

WELL WELL WELL

HE SI SEARCHING FOR MYSTERIES WELL HEAR SI A MYSTERIE FOR YOU: WHY ARE YUO OLD AND STUPED?? HAHAHAHAH

WELL WELL WELLLOOKS LIEK YUOR OLD FIREND JEFF K SI BACK AT TEH HELMET AGAIN!!! on teh INTARNAT!!! I haev been VARY bussey liek a yam lately so thats why my webpaege (my websiet, click hear for my websiet I MEAN NO CLICK HEAR FOR IT! NEVERMIND I WILL MAKE THE LINK LATAR!). I have gotten allot of angary emale from yuo putterheads liek this:

FROM: A STUPED LITTAL GUM MAN
SUBJECT: MICROSOFT EMALE MACHENE!!!

hello jeff K plez update yuor site because I am cretin man and I needs too know about computar machenes and I think Im a gay man becuase in gym class I was peaking at teh boys naked in teh showar and then I started licking Coach Renhoffers whistal and he caught me and I hide in teh closet and climbed into teh cealing because there was a swamp monstar in my tubes and which computar machene is bettar AMD OF INTEL!?!?!?

SINCEARLY,

SHITHEAD

AND i dont answar emale anymore becuase I am bussey! I SPIN PLATES AT AN AMAZING RATE!!! I AM A KING OF TAPE!!! I SAW A DISEASED HUMMAN LIVAR AT WENDYS!!! ahahahahahahaha###

But anyways back too my update. that FAGOT RETCH "LOGTAX" KAYAYANAKANA said he asks me too updates his webpaeg because he was mastarbating and teh sock he was mastarbarting into got stuck on his pennis and now hes in teh hospital for DYSENTRY!!! so it si up too me to save teh day and I will because I am a jonralist of teh highest calibar of intergrity and a lupine is a wolve!!! so hear si my artical:

A LOOK AT UPCOMEING GAMES BY JEFF KBY JEFF K

BY JEFF K

REMEMBAR THIS DIAGRAM FOR WHEN YUO NEED TO DO IT ALL OVAR AGAIN

hear si a look at upcomeing games that yuo can buy if yuor Rich Uncle Moneybags or you use teh old "SIX FINGARED DISCOUNT!" liek Jerry tried to do at CostCo teh othar day. he tried to steal a snickars Bar because as we are all aware of Jerry si fattar than a King Kong aftar he ate a PLANET JUPITAR!!! AND JOHN ROMERO SI FAT NOW TOO BECAUSE HE EATS TOO HELP HIS DEPRESSIAN!!! but Jerry got caught by teh Costco securitey gaurd! Teh guard saids, "hey fatass, stop right there!" and Jerry stopped because he was scared and too tired to run anymore because teh last tiem Jerry ran was when he thought ghostes were in an ISLAMIC TEMPAL!!!! WTF IS ISLAM ANYWAY ITS LIEK A CRAZEY THING IF YUO ASK ME!!! so in summary Jerry si fat and John Romoreo si fat too and Jerry and John are both a lot aliek because of poor higene habits. so hear are teh games too looks forward too in teh upcoming year of 2001: PS: I AM COPYING TEH NAMES OF TEH GAMES FROM VARIYING GAMEING SITES WITCH I WONT NAME FOR OBVIOUS REASONS:

UO: Blackthorn's Revenge - this gaem si about ULTIMATE ONLINE whitch si a game played by manney differant people ranging from FAGOTS to EVEN BIGGAR FAGOTS! if yuo try to play then yuo will be killed when yuo walk, so dont walk. Just login and then quit teh game for maximam playing enjoymint! UO: Blackman's Revenge si anothar expansion game for Untilmate Online because they cant think of any new games too make. they have board meatings liek this:

ORIGIN GUY: "OKAY WE NEEDS TO MAKE A NEW GAME BECAUSE WE HAVANT MADE ANYTHING NEW SINCE 1974"
ORIGIN PRESIDENT: "we can maek a game about ELFS!"
ORIGIN GUY: "but we haev a game with elfes, its Ultimar Onlien!"
OREGIN PRESIDENT: "so make MORE ELVES!!! ROLL A 40 SIDED DIE TO FIGARE OUT MY SAVING THROW AGAINST WASP STINGS!!!"
ORIGIN GUY: "THE DICE NEVAR LIE!"

so now they made anothar expansion package for Ultimar which joins the happey family of 100000 othar UO games liek:

I cant remembar any of them

I am too lazey too looks them up and my computar machene is all margy right now so go look them up yuorselfes, you lazy slobbergoats/

Army Men RTS - HEY YES WERE NOT SICK OF ARMY MAN GAMES LETS KEEP MAKEING ARMY MAN GAMES UNTIL WERE ALL DEAD AND BURIED AND ROBOTS RULES TEH WORALS AND THEN THEY CAN MAKE MORE ARMY MAN GAMES BECUASE HEY EVERYBODY LOVES ARMAY MAN GAMES RIGHT????? AND DONT SEE TEH MOVIE "AI" BECUASE IT SUCKED MORE THAN A SPANISH FLEA!!! "OH BLUE FAIREY SAVE ME FROM MY FUTURE SUBMARINE:" NO, YUO DIE UNDERWATER YUO FAGORT AND I HOPE TEH ALIANS USE YUOR BODY AS A TARMAC FOR THEM!!!

Global Ops - this gaem si liek countarstriek only its differeant because I dont know why its differeant, I think it si countarstriek which would be a lovely surprise for myself because I liek Countar Strike as much as I liek putting my hand into a stinkpit of harm's way!!! evarybody who plays couterstriek has mental issues with themselfs and needs to take what I call "A PILL TOO MAEK YOU NOT STUPED ANYMORE!!!" I used to play countarstiek all teh time, I was an engineer but sometiems I palayed as a spy and STABBED EVEARYBODY LIKE JESUS!!! hahahahahaha they were all fagorts anyway and I bet none of them evar worked a toaster contraptian before UNLIKE MYSELF, A MAN'S MAN!!! MY NAME IN COUNTARSTRIKE IS "_-={[KILLARF JEFFK]}=-_!!!!!!! SO IF YUO see me watch out because I carry death liek a brass necklace/

bettar watch out

Icewind Dale II - teh original Windy Dale was about I dont know what it was about because I didant play it becayse my level 42 ELF WOULD NOT ROLL A SAVEING THROW AGAINST BOREDOM!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA HOWS THAT FOR YUO GENTS??? So Windy Dale 2 will be more of whatevar Windy Dale 1 was, whatever that was. I dont plan on palaying this game eithar because if yuo ask me those Black Aisle guys have a few clocks in their knocks in yuo catch my drift!!!! I saw them on teh JD Powar and Associatuates rating and they were down low by watermelon and DENNYN'S so how dose that strike your fancy??? Black Aisle si owned by Intarplay which made games liek Fallout and Wrench Witch 2: The Suppository Adventare. I dont palay any of there games but Zaxxon and Food FIght so maybe theyll get their act turned around and someday there might be hope for them but until then I wont palay Windy Dale 2 because elves are for FAGOTS OF A LARGE VARIETY!!!!!!!

AND DONT EVAN GET ME STARTED ON EVARQUEST!!!!!

Soldier of Fortune: Double Helix - Yuo are a mercanary to save teh worald from POISON DNA!!! OH NO!!! BETTAR GET A BIG GUN TOO SHOTS ALL TEH VIRUSES!!! yuo go from exotic locatian to locatic location in seach of DNA to shots. Teh DNA has taken over a country and has missales it will shots at yuor head if you are not lucky so get crackin there soldar!!!! Soldar of fortune was inspired by teh antics of JOHN Q. MULLINS who si a real soldiar and he blew up teh following items during his wartime rampage:

A BRIDGE
TWO BIRDS
VIETNAME MEN
A LASSAR GUN BASE
CLOUDS
A FAT MAN WITH A DYNAMITE WOODEN LEG OF PLASTIC DYNAMITE
EVERYTHING

so they saids "hey we at Activisian would liek yuo to be a roll model for our kids" and John Mullens said "OKAY!" and then shots them with a snipar rifle. THEN HE FLED TO THE VOLCANO RETREAT AND COUNTED HIS PENNIES!!!!!!!!!1 anyway he si in this game as a soldar who finds fortune in DNA but watch out for teh Russiens becuase they may be perky but theyre no martars for a good cause!!! if you get teh grenades yuo win but there are no stuped electricicity guns liek in teh first one whitch si a shame because evearybody lieks to play stuped games RIGHT JOHN ROMERAO!!?!? ahahahahahaha

oh HI BIRD!!!!

Grand Theft Auto III - yuo STEAL CARS AND RUN OVER HOOKARS!!!!! this si a family game if yuor family is on jerry Springar show a lot. yuor missian si to drive around a city and steal cars until all cars are wrecked and teh cops shoot yuor head off with bullet guns. GOOD LUCK BUDDEY!!! yuo can go on missians but who cares, nobody plays it for missians yuo play to drive on top of people who say "oh my help me please my chest si a mess now that yuor tire had been crushing all of me!!!" and then yuo get out and steal there money and spend it on I dont know what. stock trading maybe. and there are italians and black peopal and mexicans and white woman and a birds but yuo cant kill teh birds becuase that teaches an important society lesson that BIRDS ARE ABOVE TEH LAW!!! SO GO INTO CRIME WITH TEH BIRDS AND REAP TEH BENEFITS!!! I dont remembar what I was writing about now.

Call of Cathulhu - CATHULU SI PRANK CALLING YUO AND YUO MUST STAR 69 HIOM AND FIND OUT HIS SECRAT OF TEH OOZE!!! watch out because Cathula si a foregn man liek teh Talleyban or Autobon or whatevar they are. SO USE A ROTARY DIAL PHONE AND DISCOVER A CHILLING DISCOVARY!!! dont maek a collect call to Miss Cleo though or yuor doom will be in teh cards!!! DIAL 911 AND CATHULU WILL HEAD FOR TEH HILLS

Who Shot Johnny Rock - WFT SI THIS GAME???? who cares. mayebe its just a black screen that says "WHO SHOTS JOHNNY ROCK" and yuo have to guess and if yuo get it right then it shows a music video with a drummar just palaying drums liek a crazzy man! if yuo guess wrong then teh guy who shot Jhonny Rocket shots yuo with a SNOT GUN from unreal. and yuod bettar questian yuor futare purchases if you actually buy this gaem.

DUKE NUKAM FOREVAR - THEY WILL NEVAR FINNISH THIS GAME BECAUSE DUKE NUKAM HAS A DISEASE OF A BRAIN AND GEORGE BROOMSARD SAYS "MY GAME SI A MAGIC GAME IT WILL COME OUT WHEN A MAGIC EVENT OCCURS IN YUOR LIFETIME" BUT YUO KNOW WHAT??? THERE SI NO DUKE NUKAM GAME JUST A EMPTY BOX WITH A MOUSEPAD INSIDE AND A NOTE TAHT SAYS "THANKS FOR CONTRIBUTEING TO 3D REALMS "GO TO A STRIP CLUB" DONATIAN FUND" and then they go watch strippars and GEORGE BRUSSORDES EATS ALL THE CHICKEN WINGS IN TEH HOUSE!!! HOWS THAT FOR CORTESY??? A RAMPANT MAN WITH AN APATITE FOR DISTRUCTIAN

FINISH THE STUPED GAME YUO FAGOT RETARDS OR ELSE ITS TIME TO BE DEFEATED BY JEFF K (ME, JEFF K!!!!!!!) AND ILL USE YUOR HEADS AS FLOORSHOES!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! EVARYBODY AT 3D REALSMS HAS A CASE OF THE SLOW MANS FINGARS SYNDROME

ST: Bridge Commander - if yuo liek Star Track then yuor a mental midgit. I hate C3PIO and I hate Star Track fans and oh no dont send Chewbacka to beat me up ahahaha.

okeys! that si my entire artical tooday but I will update vary excitening things on my siet in teh near futuare now that I haev spare tiem thanks to a MARVELOUS PLAN!!!!! so keep alart for my jabbascript and remembnar that yuore no clown until a clown says so!!! hahahahahahahahahhahaa I maed that up!!! PEAS OUT!

– JEFFK (@sexyfacts4u)