Realistic Warnings About Jungles From Guns N' Roses

(Long, terrified screaming)

Welcome to the jungle we've got bugs everywhere
We got way too many bugs honey, we don't know their names
We are the people that can talk to you about all these bugs
So many huge and gross bugs not even Halloween can compare

In the jungle, welcome to the jungle
Watch them lay eggs in your hhh hhhh hair, haaaiir
You'll be too sweaty to even care

Welcome to the jungle plentiful freshwater we can confirm
If you wanna drink you're gonna poop to death or catch a worm
And you're a very sexy girl that's very hard to please
Unless you want a yeast infection and a peculiar type of fleas
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my another fucking bug
Ooh, wake up and it's more bugs

Welcome to the jungle it gets worse here every day
They're trying to knock it down and won't let anything stand in the way
If you bulldoze what you see you'll clear it eventually
You can have all the trees you want but you can't take the bugs away from me

In the jungle, welcome to the jungle
Watch them lay eggs in your ev evvvv everywhere, where
Too fucked up by malaria to even care

And just a reminder we have a centipede that eats rats and it will sleep in your clothes
So there's that, so that, so that, yeah

You know where you are?
You're down in the jungle baby, you're gonna catch rabies from a frog
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Seriously there are worms that will hatch out of your eyes
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Don't even worry about the venomous snakes, you'd be lucky to die from a snakebite
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
You've spent most of your life in air conditioning what were you thinking
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
You thought this song was about Los Angeles?
Good luck with that uncontacted cannibal tribe that worships a hallucinogenic caterpillar, ha!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)