| Do you think that Hillary Clinton should drop out of the race and why or why not? | |
 Dawn CatwandPrayer Bus Volunteer | "Well, jeez, I don't think I could vote for her, but I would sure like to see a woman president. I think it's really impressive the way she keeps fighting, as a strong woman, even though 75% of the country thinks she's worse than cancer." |
 Sgt. J.J. PillockU.S. Army | "She should drop out and go directly to jail for murdering Vince Foster." |
 Rhett RacecarMILF Hunter | "No way, total sausage fest if she drops." |
 Brian MultitoastHemp Advocate | "On the one hand I'm not too comfortable with her Iraq war vote, on the other hand I am totally pumped about all of the money she has been taking from lobbyists." |
 Jeineane FizzMarketing | "Heck no, the bitch is the black! The bitch is a new black? What was it? Let me see if they have the clip up on Youtube." |
 Rudy GiulianiImmigrant | "As a Latino, I must say absolutely not. She should chain herself to Barack Obama's ankles and drag him down screaming into the abyss of general election defeat. You know, so that she can run again in 2012 on all that democratic goodwill she is stockpiling." |
| What issue do you think the next president should tackle first in 2009? | |
| Dawn Catwand Prayer Bus Volunteer | "The Chinese. What do we do about them? Should we kill them?" |
| Sgt. J.J. Pillock U.S. Army | "Stop letting the commies on our space station. My buddies didn't die face down in the streets of Baghdad so some Red could fly in one of our space shuttles up to our space station and use our space crapper. Let them and the French and the Chinese build their own damn space station if they think they're so bad ass. American space for Americans!" |
| Rhett Racecar MILF Hunter | "Why is it men don't have to wear a shirt walking around but women do? What is that? That's sexist. Get rid of that. Let's see them titties!" |
| Brian Multitoast Hemp Advocate | "Tax credits if you make your own clothes." |
| Jeineane Fizz Marketing | "Are we still allowed to go on the Internet and bet on dog fights in Puerto Rico?" |
| Rudy Giuliani Immigrant | "I don't think we're scanning nearly enough shit at airports yet. Scan some more shit, scan everything. Fuck yeah, scan all of it! Keep scanning! Fuck no, I don't need these nail clippers! Shampoo? Yeah, good call! Pour it out! I might have stabbed the fuck out of somebody with that." |
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- College Essays Made Easy
- The Cuban Missive Crisis
- An Open Letter to Concerned Mothers
- A Second Train Just Hit the South Tower!
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