SkyMall Product Reviews: Ten Commandments Tablet

This article is part of the SkyMall Product Reviews series.

Celebrate the text that has withstood the test of time - the words Moses brought down from Mount Sinai. Our faux stone tablet is both historic and inspiring, and makes a defining statement in your home or garden.

Customer Rating:
By LordOfTheHouse from Springfield, MO

I purchased these sacred tablets to send a message to my wife, so that she stops giving Jared too many compliments. I am her husband and Jared is just a coworker. He is undeserving of these compliments. These tablets will hopefully remind her not to pursue a life of sin with Jared.

Age: 36-40

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Customer Rating:
By SwiftBoatMom4Peace from Harrison, AR

My covetous child always wants his siblings' toys. We bought him this as a last-ditch effort to save his soul from eternal damnation and set him on the path of righteousness. So far it's not working. Maybe they aren't big enough?

Age: 31-35

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Customer Rating:
By FedAuditor in Columbus, OH

SkyMall refuses to offer me a refund just because I carved in "NOT!!" after each commandment. They are now more accurate, so they should be giving me a refund plus compensation for my hard work. IS THE FIRST AMENDMENT NO LONGER PROTECTED? EXPLAIN YOURSELVES.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Rating:
By Gramps from Tuscaloosa, AL

Not authentic. Save your money for the real thing.

Age: 56-60

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Customer Rating:
By Royt Hewp in Florence, SC

Ever since installing these tablets in our front yard, our house has been under siege by demonic forces. First, a Plague of Beasts. Raccoons have begun to congregate along with many skunks and at least 3 different cats. Some squirrels too. Second, a Plague of Rain. It has been unusually rainy which along with the animals and animal feces has made our yard very unpleasant. Third, an ethnic family moved in across the street and are statistically very likely to be narcotics traffickers. We will take them down as soon as the rains let up and the animals fall asleep.

PLEASE NOTE THE TWO STARS ARE NOT FOR THE COMMANDMENTS THEMSELVES, BUT THE EVIL THIS REPRESENTATION HAS UNLEASHED.

AGE: 41-45

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Customer Rating:
By Darrel in Ann Arbor, MI

My neighbor came and karate kicked me in the back of the head as I was installing these. He said I had no right to put them next to my other yard statues, the Scaled Jurassic T-Rex Dinosaur, Venus if Pietrasanta, Super-sized David, Giant Roadside Rooster and my Charles Dickens Sculptural Bust. Even though they all look great together, he claims I am committing blasphemy. I said, buddy, blasphemy is the sorry state of your rain gutters. That shut him up, and now my beautiful statues are brightening up the neighborhood and he's across the street karate kicking his garbage bins.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Rating:
By HolyMoly in Albany, GA

Best thing I ever done was buy a set of these and set them up in place of our old TV. Now my family and I just spend two solid hours of prime time every night looking them over from across the living room. We're having a lot more fun and best of all...no more arguing over the remote!

Wait, hang on, my son Bryce is throwing one of the tablets through the... oh no, it's happening. Must wrap up review. PRAY FOR US!!!!

Age: 41-45

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Customer Rating:
By TrueBeliever in Wilkes-Barre, PA

I put these in my yard to warn my neighbor Gerald that a day of reckoning is coming, and that he had better stop hosting ruckus barbecues on the Sabbath. Unfortunately the commandments are not big enough to read from Gerald's yard, and they're already at the very edge of my property. To make matters worse, he refuses to come any closer. To me it is idiotic that these aren't big enough to be read from distances of 40 feet or greater. Do they not care about the message at SkyMall? SHAME.

Age: 56-60

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– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)