SkyMall Product Reviews: Parisian Poodle Serving Table

This article is part of the SkyMall Product Reviews series.

Our favorite French poodle serves up a removable tray with true French flair that's both tres chic and tres sassy! Standing a full 3 feet tall from her fluffy Paris hairdo to her pompom slippers, Coco is a tastefully hand-painted quality designer resin charmer who's as comfortable in your Parisian boudoir as she is holding perfume bottles in a powder room or champagne cocktails next to a favorite chair.

Customer Rating:
By California Raisin from Deadwood, SD

Part dog, part French maid. Best of both worlds. I do believe I've died and gone to heaven.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Rating:
By HowlYaDoin' from Hope, AR

I can't prove this but I am 100% certain my dog is avoiding me ever since I bought this. He keeps at least a 10 foot distance from me and just turns his head whenever I look at him. This table, remarkable craftsmanship and wonderful aesthetics aside, has cost me my only friendship. Two stars.

Age: 31-35

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Customer Rating:
By Forward Thinker from Houston, TX

It is a wonderful table but it is clearly ahead of its time. My friends did not understand and even though I explained at length how anthropomorphism is as old as time, and that many people identify as animals of different breeds and indeed different genders, they remained ignorant as ever. One of them even feigned lewd acts with the serving table in front of me, which I did not appreciate. I have moved this table into my bedroom, where guests cannot see it and offer up their regressive criticisms and judgments. I look forward to a time when society progresses to a point where home décor such as this is not only appreciated and understood, but people are warmly accepted for fostering emotional and physical relationships with such décor.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Rating:
By Dig from Modesto, CA

It was love at first sight when I first glimpsed the Parisian Poodle Serving Table, which seemed the perfect complement to my home. Unfortunately, that very same home was taken from me when the tunnels I was digging underneath collapsed, causing the entire structure to be condemned. I intend to tunnel back in and reclaim this beautiful serving table, along with several changes of clothes so I don't raise any red flags at work.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Rating:
By LibertarianTruther from Muncie, IN

Pros: the high quality resin means it's easy to clean and durable.

Con: the cold, alien resin means it lacks the warmth and softness of a real human-dog hybrid.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Rating:
By Wilbur from Watford City, ND

I am a retired scientist. I got this because it reminded me of the work I used to do, pushing the boundaries of science to bring the dream of animal butlers to life. We did not get far, but our optimism never wavered. I really get a kick out of this elegant dog woman table. Such an obvious idea, but that doesn't make it any less great.

Age: 61-65

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Customer Rating:
By Chad from Rockford, IL

Like all great art, this is a very divisive piece. I love it, think it's amazing, and revere it for the high art it is. My mother-in-law, who is an idiot, calls it "gross and disturbing." Well, Dorothy, you are entitled to your stupid opinion, but I don't have to respect it or you. The only reason why I even tolerate you is because your daughter foolishly thinks you are deserving of our kindness. I am making great strides in convincing her otherwise, so it's only a matter of time. I would just as soon her and I move out, and never see you again. As soon as the economy recovers and I find a job, you can rest assured I won't take one more cent from you. This is a fine piece of art, and it stays. It stays in your living room with the rest of my things. Also, for the record, Minions was not a "children's movie about Cheetos people." If you had half a brain, you would never have made such an imbecilic comment.

Age: 36-40

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Customer Rating:
By Rockin' Ron from Mobile, AL

WHY DID THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT SO DANG SEXY?

Age: 26-30

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– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)