SkyMall Product Reviews: End Table Crate

This article is part of the SkyMall Product Reviews series.

The essence of luxury living for pets is embodied in the beautiful 2-in-1 End Table Kennel. Contain your pet in safety and comfort with this cozy retreat that is also a stunning piece of furniture.

Customer Rating:
By Mr. Bumpus from Nude Man, AR

Heads up folks: you'll need to furnish this end table cage with your own varmint. It seems to work best with something larger, like a "dog." Definitely not compatible with "mice" and "birds." "Snakes" are a big no-no as well. They slide right through and go straight for your jewels.

Age: 51-55

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Customer Rating:
By Big Dad from Staghead, WY

Works great as a family penalty box. Break a rule: that's an hour in the crate, buddy. No exceptions. I have purchased 4 and all are currently occupied 24/7 by my awful, rowdy sons.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Rating:
By MommyBlogs from Boise, ID

Mine came empty. I assumed it came with a "pet" similar to the one in the product picture. How does it draw power without one? I am putting my toddler inside just to be safe. I'm not risking any fires. Very dissatisfied. Lyle, my husband, is feverishly trying to capture an animal while I berate him and our baby screams. NOT IDEAL.

Age: 36-40

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Customer Rating:
By IN HOT WATER from Indio, CA

My wife went out of town to visit her terrible family, and her beloved end table crate died. I ordered an identical replacement with overnight shipping, but there's no creature inside??? HELP. Our marriage won't survive another disaster like this.

Age: 61-65

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Customer Rating:
By Gloria from Boca Raton, FL

I do not care for the endless whimpering emanating from my end table crate. My other furniture doesn't whimper.

Age: 66-70

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Customer Rating:
By SkyLover from Pine Bluff, AR

My end table crate started to smell after only 3 days. I added a hole to the bottom to remedy this. If you're a regular at SkyMall, this sort of custom modding should be second nature to you.

Age: 51-55

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Customer Rating:
By Ronald David Oaks from Chadron, NE

Do they make a larger version that could fit 2-3 human beings and be secure enough to prevent them from escaping? The gaps in the bars would need to line up such that I could feed them sardines and other slim foods through the cracks. Would need a hole in the bottom as well (obviously). Fit doesn't have to be comfortable, just as long as they are in there. It can be taller, like an armoire, but would appreciate if it had the same beautiful design aesthetic.

Age: 31-35

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Customer Rating:
By Shelby from Denver, CO

My end table crate has been growling at me furiously and has already claimed three of my child's fingers. This is the most angry and hostile piece of furniture I have ever purchased. I am furious that I have to buy a second one to complete the symmetry of my living room.

Age: 36-40

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Customer Rating:
By CrateLover from Sweaty Sands, NM

I decided to let the varmint I put inside the table out and it is very friendly. It seems to require food and regular access to the yard, but is infinitely more soft than the end table itself, which is hard, shows no emotion and, as far as I can tell, is entirely inanimate. I understand the logic of putting something soft inside a hard shell (eggs come to mind), but in this case it just doesn't make sense. I feel guilty putting the varmint back in there. I might just let it out and see what happens.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Rating:
By Sugarbean from Amarillo, TX

One word: Frustrating. It is heavy and the animal inside makes it difficult to grip without risking your fingers. My husband and brother have to lift it together and shake it out over the toilet every few days to keep it from stinking up the place. Very inconvenient.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Rating:
By Pizza Jeff from Bloomington, IN

DO NOT BUY. LOCK FAILS. GRANDPA HAS ESCAPED AND THERE IS NO REASONING WITH HIM.

Age: 21-25

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Customer Rating:
By Bag Hutch from Derby, KS

Seems to work OK with a large iguana inside, though the iguana seems very confused and frankly, so am I. What am I even doing here? I don't understand this furniture at all. Dad was right, I'm not cut out for this. I'm moving back to the farm.

Age: 26-30

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– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)