SkyMall Product Reviews: Hot Bod Beach Babe Woman Body Raft

This article is part of the SkyMall Product Reviews series.

Never swim alone again! Bring your Surfer Babe to keep you company. Huge - Measures 35" x 72" Features "Real Print" technology providing realistic body feature design. Includes two "Sure Grip" body surfing handles. Made with extra thick .25 mm 10 gauge PVC vinyl that can easily accommodate up to a 250 lb. person!

Customer Rating:
By Supreme Gentleman from Sante Fe, NM

Having sworn off the scourge of women once and for all, I have been desperately trying to find a suitable replacement. I am pleased to say: this is it! This has everything you could want from a woman, without any of the attitude, sass, entitlement, so-called "agency" and illogical behavior. With a few other gadgets, I get everything women could possibly offer and then some. Best of all, I don't have to waste money on nonsense like flowers and gifts to buy her affection, and she won't cheat on me like all women constantly do.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Rating:
By Duke from St. George, UT

In the right lighting, it looks just like the real thing. I don't own a pool so I cannot personally attest to its buoyancy, but it has kept my spirit afloat. The Sure Grip handles make it easy to move and reposition her around the apartment. A definite improvement to the female form.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Rating:
By Night Crawler from Jacksonville, FL

Added a hole, but that just caused it to deflate. The engineers didn't think this one through. Duct tape isn't doing the trick. Going to try filling with dirt from backyard as a last ditch effort to get my money's worth.

Age: 31-35

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Customer Rating:
By PUA Power from San Antonio, TX

I open the valve so it slowly deflates while I yell at it. Finally, a woman who reacts appropriately to me.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Rating:
By Jordan from Springfield, IL

By the time I finished inflating this thing, I was too tired to use it. This is just like real dates. Women wear you down making you jump through so many hoops, then you are simply too exhausted and sad to continue. The pump should be free.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Rating:
By CrushVictim from Indianapolis, IN

Frustrating. They got the ideal scale right, but does not hold up to vigorous use, and is extremely difficult to find clothing that fits her. It's also proven impossible to find a suitable head that matches her body.

Age: 36-40

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Customer Rating:
By Diego from Brasília, Brazil

I kiss it very much. Hello from Brazil.

Age: 51-55

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Customer Rating:
By Romeo from St. Louis, Mo

Panties and particulars are not removable. Breasts aren't nearly large enough. Should be 5x at least to be more realistic. Visible stretch marks on torso. She's a 6 at best. At $39.99, I should be getting a 7 or 8.

Age: 46-50

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Customer Rating:
By Pure Gamer from Greensboro, NC

The other gentleman's review was right. It's too hard to find clothing for her and she's just too immodest as is. I've had to put a tarp over her since it's really shameful the way she dresses. I'm so disgusted by women constantly debasing themselves like this. I just want a nice girl.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Rating:
By Otaku Prime from Gresham, OR

She's my real girlfriend now. I have gained the confidence to start taking her out more, and introduced her to my parents. They do not approve, nor does the manager of the Quiznos who does not allow us to go on dates there. I am happy to finally be with a smart, beautiful and sophisticated woman who respects me.

Age: 21-25

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Customer Rating:
By Cody from Richmond, VA

I just wish they could have made the texture more warm and realistic, just like human skin. Seems like that should be easy to mod?

Age: 26-30

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Customer Rating:
By MRAven from Schaumburg, IL

Does not accommodate my weight. How do I know this? Because I tested three of them. The product designers need to apologize to me for discrimination. I am a nice guy, and I deserve better. I got this to avoid having to degrade myself to women who only like jerks and musclemen, and constantly impose unrealistic beauty standards on us men. It has gone and done the same thing they all do... let me down, literally.

Age: 21-25

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Customer Rating:
By Hot Rod from Sioux City, IA

The perfect woman in every way. I do believe I've died and gone to heavne.

Age: 51-56

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– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)