SkyMall Product Reviews: Single-Handed Barber

This article is part of the SkyMall Product Reviews series.

This is the electric hair trimmer that cuts evenly in any direction, enabling you to maintain your own closely cropped, clean-cut hairstyle.

Customer Review:
By Alfonse from Chandler, AZ

CONS: This has been stuck on my head for three weeks, slowly rubbing down past my hair through the scalp and is now grinding against bone, causing my skull to vibrate. The headaches are intense, as well as the pain. Seeing is becoming difficult.

PROS: Incredible battery life. It’s like it’s feeding off my pain.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Review:
By Single, and You? from Norman, OK

Another pointless product to remind me that I am bald and will never find a wife. No thanks.

Age: 56-60

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Customer Review:
By JuneBug from Midland, MI

Grandpa's one vibrated out of his hand and then ended up under the couch and now grandpa is angry and cussing about the obamas again. This wasn’t supposed to happen and his hair is getting longer and longer.

Age: 21-25

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Customer Review:
By skymallcop from Enumclaw, WA

Lame. Holding out for a double handed model for extra precision and control.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Review:
By MyPreciousPugs from Foster City, CA

Cons: Not very durable. SHOULD BE FREE.

Pros: NONE

Stopped working after third time I dropped it in the toilet. Not built to last.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Review:
By BigBernie from Millinocket, ME

Horse hockey. Came up with the idea for this back in ’68 but didn’t get around to patenting it. If you bought this, you are stealing from ME. You need to write me a check and mail it to my address right now.

BERNIE GREENE
137 Mustard St
Millinocket, ME 04462

Age: 71-75

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Customer Review:
By JazzTones! from Douglas, GA

DO NOT ALLOW TWO OF THESE DEVICES TO COME INTO CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER. THEY WILL FUSE TOGETHER AND GO HAYWIRE. THEY START REVVING UP FAST AND BECOME IMPOSSIBLE TO HOLD. THEY WIILL TEAR YOUR HEAD UP. UNCLE JACK IS IN THE HOSPITAL.

Age: 46-50

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Customer Review:
By CoolGuy from Tuscaloosa, AL

I refuse to pay some ditsy cosmologist to cut my hair when I can do it myself. Most of the time I have a fedora on anyway. This works really well for when I want short hair instead of a long rock star ponytail, or if I want to bring the ol’ wizard’s beard in check. I’ve gotten lots of compliments from my doctors so I know it’s working well.

Age: 21-25

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Customer Review:
By SkyHighKaren from Amarillo, TX

My husband was bit twice by horses and cannot use his hands. I am very angry there is no hands free version of this to accommodate him, because I’m getting tired of running this over his backside all the time.

Age: 36-40

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Customer Review:
By CROATOAN from Redding, CA

I’ve been using this thing on my dog and I’ve got him smooth as a marble. It’s getting harder to coax him out of the closet he’s been hiding in, but he’s never been sleeker. Wish I could get the hair underneath his skin, that’s what’s driving me crazy. Sooner or later I’ll get that too.

Age: 51-56

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Customer Review:
By Harold from King of Prussia, PA

I use this for grooming my wife, who due to end-stage gluten allergies, is totally catatonic. I am currently seeking other women on craigslist who would be willing to let me groom them. I'm very gentle. Please contact me if you’re interested. Hopefulbarber68 at hotmail dot com. No spammers.

Age: 56-60

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)