The Shamebox: Building a Thoroughly Tasteless Gaming PC

Putting a computer together is easier and more fun than you might think. It's sort of like building a LEGO set. It also costs about as much as a LEGO set.

You know what's even more fun? Challenging yourself to make a PC entirely out of ridiculous EXTREME GAMER parts. This is my attempt to pick the most wretched, garish product for every component of a gaming PC build. Try it yourself!

CPU Cooler: Cooler Master V8 GTS - High Performance CPU Cooler with Horizontal Vapor Chamber and 8 Heatpipes

Let's get the bad news out of the way. CPUs are just chips. There aren't any models with lights or fins. Your only options are to buy an Intel processor or suffer a head injury and go with AMD.

Thankfully, when it comes to the cooling systems you slap on CPUs, things get real stupid real fast. Meet the Cooler Master V8 GTS. It's the answer to all your questions, assuming all your questions are, "If a Transformer from Michael Bay's Transformers had a bowling ball what would it look like?"

Motherboard: MSI X99A GODLIKE GAMING CARBON

The motherboard is the thing all your stuff goes into. As a mostly flat slab of silicon with some circuits and holes, it's inherently sort of boring. Unless you make it GODLIKE!

The GODLIKE GAMING CARBON blows away all ordinary motherboards. It's got red lights. It's got a dragon on it. If you ever find yourself looking at this motherboard and struggling to find an adjective, the word GODLIKE is helpfully printed on its ejection handle.

Storage: Intel SSD w/ Cool Skull

I really lucked out with this one. Most drives are simple rectangles, but this one is a simple rectangle with a dang skull etched into its surface. Never mind the fact that your drive will be tucked away out of sight. You'll know the skull is there. That will be enough to sustain your inner gamer.

GPU: Asus GeForce GTX 980 Ti 6GB 20th Anniversary Gold Edition Video Card

This video card is almost completely covered in genuine gold-colored plastic and aluminum. A set of colored LEDs make the words 20th Anniversary light up. Is it perhaps too classy? You decide.

Case: Acer Aspire Predator

A chunk of aerodynamic goldfish battle armor raises, aided by needlessly prominent chrome hinges. Now you can access the front of the computer which is modeled after the end of Mass Effect 3. Just a quick question: Why block the front panel in the first place?

Power Supply: Thermaltake Toughpower DPS G Series

You know what needs lights? Everything. Especially your power supply. Especially when your power supply is supplies tough power, and contributes to your DPS.

RAM: G.Skill Ripjaws 4

Now this is a stick of RAM I could shave my face with, if my face was a granite golem's butthole. Doubles as a key to Satan's broom closet.

Keyboard: Hiraliy x11

Pretty self-explanatory, really. The sharply angled edges are for comfort and self-defense.

Mouse: Mad Catz R.A.T. PRO X Wired Laser Mouse

Don't know where to put your hand? You lose. Fragged! Telefragged! Gibs! This is the mouse for gamers who don't hesitate. Only a noob would rest their palm and fingers. You rest, you die!

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)