Here in America we worship The Real Santa Claus, not to be confused with The Real Ghostbusters or this song.
You know the guy. Average weight. Fairly compensates his employees with a living wage instead of classifying them as independent contractors. Distributes toys globally at no cost so all children have a minimum present income. We love that stuff in the USA!
We love. That stuff.
There are, of course, other places in the world where they worship entirely different Santa Clauses.
Whichever Santa Claus you worship, I sincerely wish you and yours would keep it down over there.
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This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
