| Has the government's stimulus check helped you? | |
 Dawn CatwandPrayer Bus Volunteer | "It helped me spiritually. I gave it all to Bibles for the Troops so that our wounded warriors can convalesce with Christ." |
 Sgt. J.J. PillockU.S. Army | "Just got mine. Bought 600 lotto tickets. There's a method to it. I played the same number 600 times, that way if some other fag picked my number I get like 599 times more than him. We'll see how much it pays off when I win on Tuesday." |
 Rhett RacecarMILF Hunter | "Hell yeah. I bought like half the games on my Amazon list and I can still tell my landlord I'm waiting for my check to pay the back rent for at least like another couple months. I think I can beat GTA IV in that amount of time." |
 Brian MultitoastUnemployed Hemp Advocate | "I hate to admit it, but yeah. It paid for half of a beautiful chess set. Every piece is a working miniature bong." |
 Jeineane FizzUnemployed | "As soon as I got it I logged on to Hillary Clinton dot com and donated all of it to her. I sure hope she can retire all her debt! I'm praying for you, Hill! Denver! Denver! Denver!" |
 Rudy GiulianiImmigrant | "I used it to buy a replica Atreides signet ring from some movie prop guy in New Zealand. So, I guess I didn't really stimulate the US economy, but at least the ladies will know I am the rightful heir of Duke Leto." |
| Who do you hold most accountable for the current economic crisis? | |
| Dawn Catwand Prayer Bus Volunteer | "Gays. Did you know they're marrying them again? Bridal shops are so much more expensive. It's the law of supply and demand. What's next, marrying atheists? I'd better buy all my bridesmaid's dresses now." |
| Sgt. J.J. Pillock U.S. Army | "The Democrats for not passing FISA. What if while they were stalling a terrorist somewhere ordered a pizza? If we can't wire tap them how are we going to prove they aren't truly meat lovers? The economy can't cope with that sort of uncertainty." |
| Rhett Racecar MILF Hunter | "Nick Savoy for totally stealing the Method from Mystery and trying to sell that shit. That is like billions in lawsuits right there. Inflation and what have you." |
| Brian Multitoast Unemployed Hemp Advocate | "Those guys who set up tables outside concerts and sell fake band t-shirts. Those guys are total dicks. It's why CD sales are so bad." |
| Jeineane Fizz Unemployed | "Chris Matthews and the blogosphere!" |
| Rudy Giuliani Immigrant | "Are you having trouble making your mortgage payment? Do you have the same salary you had when you bought the house? If you answered 'yes' to both of those then it's you. I blame you." |
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- Another Awful Energy Drink Review Roundup (Part II)
- Barkwire.com Reviews: Satire
- Another Awful Energy Drink Review Roundup (Part I)
- Instruction for a The Bodie
- F.P.E.T: First Person Exam Taking
