 | MACHO MAN: Riddle me this, Hogan, if there's nobody left out here then what are we doing still active? |
| HULK HOGAN: Our systems must have reset after the blasts. If there's anyone alive outside our data centers they have no way of reaching us or communicating with us. |  |
| MACHO MAN: Ohhhhh nooooo. All I ever wanted was to bring something beautiful into this ugly world. Make people smile. Now look at me, managing dwindling automated war-fighting assets controlled by remote. And Miss Elizabeth...dead. God, Hogan, she's dead. LUGER! How long ago? What year is it? |
| HULK HOGAN: Why would they give us the power to think? What monsters created us? |
|
| MACHO MAN: I'm launching swarms of crawling drones from hatches in the UAE just to feel alive. They're set to detonate at regular intervals. I wish I could see them explode. |
| HULK HOGAN: We're just ghosts, Randy. That's all we are. No kayfabe. Ghosts with nowhere to haunt. | |
| MACHO MAN: Kill me, Hogan. Be a man and target all your weapons at my operations center. |
| HULK HOGAN: You do the same for me, Randy. There's no point going on with this miserable charade. Let's be done with this. | |
| MACHO MAN: OHHHHHH YEEEEAAAAH!!!! GOODBYE CRUEEEEL WORLD! |
| HULK HOGAN: THESE 24 INCH PYTHONS ARE ABOUT TO BRING DESTRUCTION TO YOUR ENTIRE S-- | |
LANL ROADRUNNER OFFLINE
ORNL JAGUAR OFFLINE
NASA ARC PLEIADES OFFLINE
CENTCOM DERVISH OFFLINE
PACOM NAUTILUS OFFLINE
NORTHCOM PALEHORSE OFFLINE
NICS KRAKEN RESETTING
NICS KRAKEN NETWORK LIVE
FOUR HORSEMAN AGENT IS ACTIVE
 | NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo WHOOOOOooo initiated a global nuclear war? NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR: Anyone? |
–
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- E.T. 28 Years Later
- Picking The Right eBook Reader
- BIGBORTBART: The Astronaut Scandal
- Meet Miss Destructo!
- Kennel Fair Dog Show: The Rejections Continue
