We Must Protect The Rooms Where We Poo and Pee

We must protect the rooms where we poo and pee!

We Must Protect The Rooms Where We Poo and Pee!

We Must Protect The Rooms Where We Poo and Pee!

WE MUST PROTECT THE ROOMS WHERE WE POO AND PEE!

Right now, our poo and pee has it pretty good! Has for decades. My mom’s poo and pee had a pretty sweet life, and so did her mom’s, and hers. Our poo and pee hangs out together in big bowls. Sorry if this “offends” you, but it just works!

But now, liberals want to mess with the rooms where we poo and pee. THIS. IS. INSANE. We must protect our poo and pee, but more importantly:

We must keep our poo and pee as happy as possible.

Why is our poo and pee SO happy right now? Those of us in "the flyover" states know why: because our boy poo is with boy pee, and our girl poo is with girl pee.

I can't believe I even have to explain that.

But to think: the sacred shrines that house our twin wonders (poo and pee) may soon see poo and pee from people who aren't the gender of the poo and pee that the big bowls are used to?!

Unacceptable!

Think about it: if your job was to all day to make the french fries, and then suddenly your boss is like, "now you make hamburgers," you'd be so confused you could never recover! That is what will happen to the big bowls once poo and pee of the gender they are not used to go into the big bowls. Unfair, illogical, wrong!

How am I supposed to explain to my poo and pee that poo and pee from a different gender was once in the big bowl they're now in? That's gonna be a pretty awkward conversation with my poo and pee! We must protect our poo. But most importantly...

...we must protect our pee.

I'll be blunt: if forced at gunpoint to make the insane choice between poo and pee, I would protect my pee. Any sane person would. Poo is disgusting - a mere collection of nutrient byproducts which serves only to pollute our streams and waterways.

But pee? Pee is pristine. Pee is sterile. Pee can be used in the engine of a car radiator to calm down the engine and tell the engine it's loved.

How am I supposed to explain to my pee about my poo? What will I tell my pee???

Anyway, I'm 100% for the rights of trans people, or those who identify with a gender that doesn't correspond to their birth certificate, to use public bathrooms. That's not what this is about at all. All I ask is that they poo and pee in special containers that will be installed in every bathroom. Then, they can take their poo and pee home with them to be in their private big bowls.

That way, none of us will have to have an uncomfortable situation where we're explaining to our pee and poo about the pee and poo from another gender having been in their big bowl. Because if I have to explain anything to my pee and poo...then something is wrong.

And if we can't use this container system for our poo, for God's sake, can we please at least do it for our pee? My name is Donald Trump, and I love pee. So long, folks!

– Asterios "President Baby" Kokkinos (@asterios)