Welcome to jail. Did you ever see yourself here? No, no one ever does. But don't worry about being left out of the group; you can join in at any point.

PRE-GAME



Join a Team

The first step is finding a group to hang out with. Making friends in prison can be difficult. At first, it seems that there are so many people that you'll never meet anyone, but eventually you notice the subtle differences. Soon you will see which group is best for you. The entire prison is divided into separate "teams." Instead of different colored jerseys, it is based on skin color. Let's take a look at the four major groups you'll be dealing with here

Aryan Brotherhood
Traits: White, Angry, Dangerous
Main Enemies: Hispanics, African Americans

Mexican Mafia
Traits: Hispanic, Angry, Dangerous
Main Enemies: African Americans, Whites

Black Guerilla Family
Traits: African American, Angry, Dangerous
Main Enemies: Whites, Hispanics

Prison Guards
Note: Due to your string of armed robberies and arson towards a local chain of Circle Ks,
admission to Team Prison Guard is denied.


Get a Tattoo

Now that you've been drafted, it's time to spice up your jersey. Every convict needs an outside source for inspiration, so find your own muse. Pick three from this list and tattoo them on your back or any remaining, visible skin

Popular Choices

More Options

  • Hitler
  • Woman with Tear Rolling Down Cheek
  • White Power
  • Black Power
  • Latino Pride
  • Child/Children (preferably your own)
  • Fishing
  • Another Swastika (if applicable)
  • Black Panther
  • Knives
  • Dead Friends
  • Current Friends
  • Future Friends
  • Dragons
  • Nude Woman
  • Create your own
  • Any combination of above

Are you ready to play yet?

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful