Liveblogging the Microsoft Kinect/Project Natal E3 Pre-Event

Elephant with 1s and 0s painted on its side just walked into the room. Or did it? It's impossible to be sure here because nothing is as it seems.

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Scratch last one, elephant just shit and pissed like ten gallons all over the speaker stand.

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Lionhead Studios releasing Milo & Kate. Showed a demo and Molyneux described how you can give birth to an actual child in the room with Kinect and it will scan its features and place it in the game as Milo and then you can raise it exactly as a real human and give it agency and free will. If you can reach a high enough level you can grant it power of attorney. You do all this by jumping a kangaroo into the air and spinning to break bottles with his tail.

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Someone from the Russian gaming media just died because everything was too real.

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Microsoft's Liam Hubras just announced that Kinect will work out of the box with 3D LED TVs to reach decadent, first-world hyper-gadget obsolescence twice as quickly.

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Someone just mentioned the wii and the whole audience laughed. Microsoft spokeswoman: "It's totally different. Have you seen the kangaroo break bottles?"

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Youtube + Chat Lounge + browsing the web on my TV WITHOUT a controller????? Uhhhhh, yes, please!

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I climbed through a TV and now I'm in the TV. If a metaphor is so heavy-handed it is literally happening is it still a metaphor?

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Fat Joe just walked out on a swan balloon and he's making it rain, but the dollar bills are VIRTUAL BOTTLES and we have to throw our hands in the air to break the bottles which contain Kinectanimal plushy certs!

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Just saw that redhead from Mad Men with the giant knockers get turned into a virtual kangaroo. Snozzberries husband nowhere to be seen! She's jumping up and down to break bottles! Can die happy now. Itagaki has a sweat drop by his head and blood coming out of his nose.

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I know I wrote some pretty mean things before, but I am really drunk and surrounded by celebrities and just got a hug from Starbuck from BSG SOOOOOOOOOOooooo needless to say I LOVE KINECT!!!! KINEst 4 ever!!!1

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)