This Week's Top Downloads On The iPhone App Store

10 Northeast

Brendan Gladsbury
Genre: Travel Price: $0.99

How many promotions have you missed out on thanks to a total brain freeze when your boss asked what town or landmark was located ten miles to the Northeast of a given location? Think of how different your life could be if you had only been prepared!

10 Northeast asks for you to enter a starting position, then sets to work displaying a 3D Google Maps presentation of the area ten miles to the Northeast. Only works in the greater New Jersey... Learn More In The App Store

Adam

Gizmonics Institute
Genre: Lifestyle Price: $9.99

Many don't believe it, but technology makes it possible. Now Adam has many more features, including face and background. Fans of original Adam on the N-Gage can enjoy this new version even more thanks to the digitally remastered kazoo soundtrack. Comes with optional "sepia" camera filter for... Learn More In The App Store

The National Library Of Congress Is Seriously Shiny

Square/Enix
Genre: Education Price: Free

The hell? Do they ever stop polishing that building, or are they seriously trying to blind people? Maybe that's the idea. Maybe they want to render your eyes useless just before you enter the building so no one will find out that the whole building is in reality just full of erotic Japanese comic books... Learn More In The App Store

Paypal Just Held Your Funds Alerter

Gina Mae Lynnsen
Genre: Finance Price: $4.99

Be the first to know when Paypal decides to hold your funds for SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY, such as: receiving money, logging in to Paypal, using Paypal to donate to charity, selling an item on eBay, e-mailing Paypal to ask if they put your frozen funds into an account that earns them interest, typing a url into your browser that starts with the letter "p" and looks like the next letter might be "a"... Learn More In The App Store

School/Workplace Shooting Spree Planner

John Carmack
Genre: Productivity Price: $0.99

This new version takes full advantage of the touchscreen, making it much more intuitive to place icons for escape route blockades, firing arcs, and preferred suicide locations. Comes with bonus ringtone from American Idol runner-up beatboxing sensation Blake Lewis... Learn More In The App Store

Is This Thumb Broken?

DigitSoft
Genre: Medical Price: $0.09

Don't settle for being 98% sure that a thumb is broken. Be 99% sure with Is This Thumb Broken?, the cheaper alternative to Thumb Break Analyzer. Just take the thumb in question and hold it up to the iPhone, then take a picture. Our dedicated staff of frightened Malaysian children will analyze the data and get back to you with results within six months... Learn More In The App Store

Pill On A Mic Stand

Fun Ware
Genre: Games Price: $0.99

How long can the pill stay on the mic stand? Indefinitely. Test your ability to lay the iPhone down on a flat surface and walk the fuck away to live a single day of your life without ignoring the people around you or turning a dark movie theater into that scene from The Abyss where everything lights up in blue... Learn More In The App Store

Hey Tell Me If These Are Peppers

Pierre Goodich
Genre: Reference Price: Free

Every so often your iPhone will be sent a picture of some peppers. You tell me if they are peppers. This is not a game, I just need to know this. Thank you in advance for helping... Learn More In The App Store

Early Exit Excuse Ringer

Matt Stoverton
Genre: Lifestyle Price: $7.99

We've all found ourselves scrambling to come up with valid reasons to leave uncomfortable situations such as awkward dates, particularly boring funerals, and cancer test results. Now that you have an iPhone in your hand, the answer is simple. Activate the Early Exit Excuse Ringer while no one is looking, then put the phone back in your pocket. In exactly one minute your iPhone will emit an ear-piercing scream of "THIS SUCKS, I'M OUT OF HERE", paving the way for your exit... Learn More In The App Store

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)