Things I Have Learned from the Internet Movie Firearms Database

Jack Abramoff hated black people, good cinema

Sleazy lobbyist Jack Abramoff was involved in making movies with South Africa's apartheid government. Specifically, he helped make Red Scorpion. So think about that: Republican lobbyists and segregation launched Dolph Lundgren's career as a leading man.

It must be true, it's unsourced on a website where linking to a picture of a gun on ebay can be considered a source. Oh, wait, it's actually true.

I'm surprised they managed to save him.

Saving Private Ryan is subjected to particular scrutiny on imfdb. Several mistakes are noticed and then excused in a convoluted manner. Because the movie is fairly accurate, the criticisms that do get through are often astonishingly pedantic or relating to momentary freeze frames.

I'll never forgive Spielberg for his failure to demonstrate an accurate finger pinch when the bolt handle cycled. That and the ending of Schindler's List. They're parading them all out!? Are you kidding me!? And the actors are pushing their wheelchairs!? Somebody get me a reciever [sic] tang.

Jackson! You rogue! How dare you claim you are adjusting for windage and then make a fool out of me by adjusting your scope for elevation! You villain! It should be noted that this is followed by a series of screen shots and commentary of several shots he fires and how badly he missed.

????????

An astute imfdb user noticed something amiss in the Vin Diesel classic XXX. I'm not sure what they noticed, but it was major. I tried to read the text three times and every time my brain reached some sort of internal sanity threshold and shut down to protect itself. See if you can unravel what is wrong.

This is pretty much the Internet right here. A huge, technical notation spit out for a freeze frame from a 10 year old movie that was made by and for barely-literate morons. It was posted to a public website so that everyone's questions about that split second of an unnamed character shooting a gun can finally be answered.

Was the fire selector's "elbow" near the edge of the top of the receiver? Would moving the switch down one more release the disconnector from its "free" position? What have I done with my life? Where have all the years gone? Oops, I am dead now.

Thanks imfbd!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)