You order another drink and talk to the person. The conversation is amazing. They're witty, they're smart, they're stunningly beautiful. You talk and talk and talk. It's like a Christian Mingle commercial if it ended with the couple groping one another until the bar closes. You forget your friends, the cancelled healthcare, the pain in the ass assignment due in the morning, you forget everything and follow the person to their apartment.
Short story: You have a great night.
Long Story: You have a great night, but you don't finish your assignment. Now you're broke and you lose your apartment. You meet with the person again, but it's not the same when they have to pick you up from your mom's, and they really hate it when you try to crash on their couch.
Come on, you're a freelancer. There's no time for love.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- If Everybody Pulls Together, We Might Just Save Our Town's Abortion Clinic
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- Memos from Bear Cave: The Taste of Treachery
