Big cuts to healthcare benefits! You really are acting like a boss now! You call the toll free number on the back of your insurance card and after twenty minutes of clicking around, find someone to talk to.
"Insure this," you say pointing to your crotch.
"Insure what?" The representative says.
There is a moment of silence.
"Were you just pointing at your genitalia?"
"No," you say. "But, I'd like to cancel my insurance."
Whew, the day's just beginning and you're already shaking things up. That's the great thing about freelancing. You're in charge! Now, time to get some work done. You pack up your laptop, you put on pants. You're locking the door when you get a text from your friends. They just got off work and they want to get a drink.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- If Everybody Pulls Together, We Might Just Save Our Town's Abortion Clinic
- You Can't Take Superman Anywhere
- Everything Must Go at Deranged Doyle's 5th of July Fireworks Sale
- Only Attractive People can Shop at Abercrombie & Fitch
- Memos from Bear Cave: The Taste of Treachery
