You hand over the laptop and beg him to not hurt you. You also piss your pants. The dude laughs as he walks away. Even after he turns the corner onto the main road, you can still hear him mocking you and your high-pitched voice. The warm fluid trickles down your leg, but it doesn't matter. You just lost a year's worth of work and your entire portfolio. It's too late to back that stuff up now. You're hopeless with nothing to show. You are truly worthless. If you had a real job, you'd get fired from it now.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- If Everybody Pulls Together, We Might Just Save Our Town's Abortion Clinic
- You Can't Take Superman Anywhere
- Everything Must Go at Deranged Doyle's 5th of July Fireworks Sale
- Only Attractive People can Shop at Abercrombie & Fitch
- Memos from Bear Cave: The Taste of Treachery
