Putting it on the Card
Doing Prepro on a Hoarders Episode
Squandering the College Fund
Justifying the Super Wal*Mart
Consuming the Cube
Grocery Shopping
Restocking the Velveeta
Settling for Bag Cereal
Gagging the Keurig
Refueling the Gamer
Clothes Shopping
Shoeing the Clothes Horse
Fitching
Bape Hunting
Breaking XXL Bad
Jegging the Cube
Gift Shopping (Immediate Family)
Tracking Down Mom's NPR Band
Restocking Dad's Batteries
Picking the Wrong Assassin's Creed
Suspecting Your Sister's Webcam
Gift Shopping (Extended Family)
Scenting the Candle
Falling Back on Cat Themes
Seeking the Cheapest Photo Book
Gadget Shopping
Upgrading the Display
Adding a 'G'
Requiring an Adapter
Lining Up for Robbery
Stabbing for a Console
Car Shopping
Letting Detroit Go Bankrupt
Justifying the Mustang
Financing the Image
Rapping About a 300
House Shopping
Foreclosing on Grandma
Dumping the Nest Egg
Flipping the Cube
In addition to writing approximately 50,000 articles for Something Awful, Zack Parsons is the author of Liminal States, a sci-fi/horror/detective/western novel.
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This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
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- I Am The Best Computer User In The World
- Things Mitt Romney Forgot He Did in High School
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