While I awaited a severe beating from Lanny's husband TT more than filled the void with his crazy rant.

From: TT_TITANS
To: zackparsons@somethingawful.com
Subject: CIVIL WAR

YOUR ARTICLE IS A SCREED FOR HATE AND IT IS ANOTHER SIGN THAT THE RIFTS ARE OPENING UP BETWEEN REAL AMERICA AND THE LIBERAL BASTIONS OF THE BIG CITIES LIKE SF AND NY AND CHICAGO A CIVIL WAR IS COMING DOWN THE PIPE AND ITS COMING SOON.

WE CANT TAKE MUCH MORE OF THE ABUSE WE ARE SUFFERING AT THE HANDS OF THE USERPERS UNLAWFUL FAKE MUSLIM PRESIDENT AND NANCY PELOSI THE ILLEGALS CROSSING THE BORDER WILL BE THE NEW BARBARIAN ARMY AND THE LIBERALS WILL ALIGN WITH THE UNITED NATIONS AND THE EUROPEAN UNION TO OPPOSE THE TEXAS BLOC AND SEIZE THE OIL RESOURCES OF TEXAS AND ALASKA BY 2010 THE OBAMAS WILL PLACE DISSENTERS IN CAMPS LOCATED IN EUROPE WHERE THEY WILL NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN

JUST REMEMBER THAT WE KNOW WHO IS DOING THIS TO US WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AND WE KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING YOU SAY WHEN THE TIME COMES YOU WILL PAY WHEN YOU TRY TO TAKE OUR GUNS OR SEND THE ABORTIONISTS TO KILL OUR BABIES WE WILL FIGHT BACK AND IF YOU TAKE OUR GUNS WE WILL USE OUR KNIVES AND IF YOU TAKE THOSE WELL USE FISTS AND TEETH

THIS IS A BATTLE FOR THE SOUL OF AMERICA AND YOU STAND ON THE SIDE WITH SHANNYN MORE AND HUFFINGTON POST THAT MAKES FUN OF A RETARDED CHILD SO WHO DO YOU THINK IS RIGHT???? I HOPE YOU THINK ABOUT THAT BEFORE THE TIME COMES.

GOD BLESS

TT

I appreciated TT's attempt to warn me about the coming civil war, but he was way too late.

From: zackparsons@somethingawful.com
To: TT_TITANS
Subject: Re: CIVIL WAR

TT,

your warning comes too late. The gaymechs are already advancing on the Houston Citadel. Illegals threaten the Neo Alamo with ceaseless human wave attacks. They charge at the machine guns, heedless of losses, their crazed, beaner eyes searching for junk-filled pickups. Obama has given Arizona to the French and Utah to the Belgians. Mosques are being built throughout Appalachia. Blue-helmeted UN troops are patrolling rodeos and monster truck rallies.

They're coming for your guns, TT. Dig up the school bus and fade into the hills like a Red Dawn fantasy.

GOD BLESS.

Zack

I wasn't really expecting TT to reply, but he did.

From: TT_TITANS
To: zackparsons@somethingawful.com
Subject: Re: Re: CIVIL WAR

FUCK YOU FAGGOT IM READY.

GOD BLESS

TT

Nothing goes together quite like "FUCK YOU FAGGOT" and "GOD BLESS." It's the right wing Internet's version of peanut butter and chocolate.

If you hate me and all good things in the world and freedom, feel free to send me some more hate mail. I will laugh about your feeble bleatings at the next UN meeting on how to partition post-occupation America. And make with the lawsuits. I was really disappointed no one threatened to sue Something Awful.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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