E-mail Reaction to SA's Sarah Palin Apology

From: Andy K.
To: zackparsons@somethingawful.com
Subject: i hoep your daughter suffers this sort of abuse

i hope if you ever can get your limp dick up and find some fat ugly woman to make a baby you will feel what its like and your kid will be tortured in this media environment!!

if you have a daughter I hope she is a prono star and you have to see her get fucked by DICKS and if its a boy I hope he's on gay porno

FUCK YOU

Andy,

it's so neat that our aspirations are so similar! As it would happen, I've shot enough male hormone into my dick's main stem to get it up and impregnate the wallowing hog lady who lives in the woods behind my shack. The wildlife rangers say she's expecting a girl, and I'm gonna raise her up right to porno hard as soon as she is of earning age.

I want her to hit the ground running. None of this softcore, to lesbian-only, to straight, to anal, to weird fetish porn. I want her taking messy shits on old men in the Ukraine the day she turns 18. I want her doing six months on a webcam in Saudi Arabia letting hairy Sunni patriarchs beat her with socks full of oranges. I plan to pay for breast implants so big they will bust through the fat layer and seep into one of those uniboobs you get after an St. Louis tit job.

She will travel down bukkake boulevards like a conquering gokun general. She will do ass to mouth and puke on filthy shitdicks with tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. Her gape will be amazing. They'll make a machine only she can take and send her to an island to be drill-fucked into oblivion by the mechanical lust of the entire Internet. She'll be a flickering fuck queen of our time, not even human anymore, just a mindless collection of body parts to be used for pleasure, pounding it out on streaming video while an entire generation cranks dilz.

If I have a boy, well, gay porno ooooh fuck you've gone too far. Don't be disgusting.

Zack