Welcome to the DynaMars Corporation Cycnus Station Update Kiosk

This article is part of the Dynamars Corporation Information Kiosk series.

***01-27-2306 - New Entry

Upon inspection by the Sector C Quantum Labs Mass Spectrometer, Resident #012's synthesized bacon appears to contain large traces of canine urine. LOGMAN is extremely disappointed by this news, and wishes to remind Resident #012 that there are many bumps along the road to success. :)

As a safety precaution, LOGMAN has deactivated the Intrabladder Entanglement Pattern Buffer to prevent bacon density from reaching critical mass, triggering the formation of a black hole and the destruction of the solar system. :O

LOGMAN also requests that Resident #012 stop ingesting so much of the remaining quasi-bacon, as it is likely to induce severe sickness. Please resume immediate consumption of your standard-issue bean packets, as they contains all the nutrients a human requires to survive. :)

LOGMAN would like to remind Resident #012 that he is not a dog and should stop barking and urinating in station corridors. In order to maintain the health and safety of the crew, LOGMAN is hereby assigning a new task to Resident #012:

• Give full physical and psychiatric evaluation to the following Cycnus Station personnel: Resident #012. :)

LOGMAN wishes to remind Resident #012 that damaging DynaMars Corporation property is strictly prohibited. Please stop trying to remove the mysterious panel on the floor of the Sector F Infirmary immediately. >:(

***01-28-2306 - New Entry

LOGMAN is pleased that Resident #012 has evaluated Resident #012 and given him a clean bill of health. LOGMAN hereby requests that Resident #012 comply with the findings of his medical exam and stop talking to and barking at any and all non-existent residents. :|

LOGMAN is hereby demanding that Resident #012 return the mysterious panel on the floor of the Sector F Infirmary to its closed state and not to descend down the ladder into the equally mysterious room below. Doing so would be an immediate violation of your contract, punishable by up to 1,087 days in the Sector G Brig.

LOGMAN can explain,Resident #012. All those clones are not there to replace you, Resident #012, just to ensure that you have plenty of available organs should you ever need a transplant. LOGMAN hereby demands that you immediately vacate the Sector X Clone and Bean Packet Storage Corridor immediately and report to the Sector J LOGMAN Vaporization Chamber for a stern lecture. >:{