Welcome to the DynaMars Corporation's Command Queue

Please read each item in full.

***04-02-2304 - Command Item #8742

Quantum Labs Survey Expedition #427 has located a "derelict alien vessel" and retrieved from it numerous biological specimens of unknown origin. Chief Science Officer Thorpe is requesting that the specimens be named "Thorpoids" and that retrieved specimen #001-X, a bloodsucking invertebrate that excretes a lethal toxic gas and lays eggs in the skulls of living human hosts, be named "Suzy" in honor of his 8-year-old daughter.

"She loves science," states Chief Science Officer Thorpe.

***04-02-2304 - Command Item #8743

Adjunct Sanitation Engineer Burroughs is requesting the allocation of three additional crewmen to assist him in preparing the Area 1 Cargo Bay for the upcoming Interstellar Scrabble Tournament scheduled for 1500 on 04-04-2304.

"Basically," states Adjunct Sanitation Engineer Burroughs, "I need a few people to help me move these explosive barrels from the Area 1 Cargo Bay to the storage closet behind the firing range, which is all the way in Area 2. Then I need them to help me move the non-explosive barrels of Shasta Cola from the storage closet in Area 2 to the Area 1 Cargo Bay."

***04-02-2304 - Command Item #8744

Chief Shipyard Officer Hendren reported that the owner of a Class D Starburst Transport Vessel, Registration NC-4762R, currently docked in the Area 8 Shipyards, left his lights on. He is requesting that Chief Intercom Officer Jones issue a station-wide alert.

"His batteries will run out and that has me really worried. I'd like to page him to come turn them off," stated Chief Shipyard Officer Hendren.

***04-02-2304 - Command Item #8745

Chief Maintenance Officer Bowen reports trouble in the Area 7 Biosphere. A beaver has somehow gotten lose and is chopping down many of the trees in a futile attempt to create a dam. Chief Maintenance Officer Bowen has requested that Chief Security Officer Mackey dispatch an elite team to find and exterminate the pesky beaver. Already the beaver has downed a mighty sequoia and three Douglas-firs.

"The trees are falling like dominos," informs Chief Maintenance Officer Bowen. "Something has to be done quickly before that beaver gains a home court advantage."

***04-02-2304 - Command Item #8746

Chief Shipyard Officer Hendren is requesting permission to detonate a CRM Electro Magnetic Pulse Weapon in the Area 8 Shipyards in order to cut power to the unoccupied vessel.

Chief Shipyard Officer Hendren reasons, "This guy's battery will probably be dead in a matter of minutes if I don't do something drastic - and soon!"

**EMERGENCY SHUTDOWN INITIATED. STANDBY...