Deathbed Testbed

Hello? Anyone up there?

Well, damn. It's been a little over a week since I lost my footing and tumbled down here. If only my balance had been as solid as the BFG GeForce GTX 260. With 896MB of onboard memory, this bad boy can run anything you throw at it with ease. Sure wish someone would throw me a rope, or some kinda trampoline or a pair of stilts.

Messed my neck up pretty good. I can't even angle my head downwards to pee in my mouth, so I've just been laying here with my swollen tongue lolling out between cracked lips, hoping to catch a drop of rain or a wayward bug. That's all the sustenance to be found. Not sure how long I can hold out, but I do know that with its excellent driver support and efficient heatsink cooling, the GTX 260 will hold out for years without overheating or crashing.

Is that...? Up where the dark tunnel of the well meets the light, I think I see poor Judith, and Pop Pop, and all the friends I lost in the war! How is this possible? How can the BFG GeForce GTX 260 Reloaded be right at the sweet spot between performance and price?

Urk!

This table is cold! I don't like this doctor place. I'll stay, though. I'm a good boy.

I think they took me here because I've been wobbly lately, but the Antec Skeleton System Case is rock solid.

Ow! Getting a shot always smarts, and that was a big one. Thankfully, assembling the Antec Skeleton is painless. After putting a system together, getting access to your components is also a snap. Trust me, with these hips I'm very familiar with snapping.

All in all, the Antec Skeleton System Case is a good buy. Good boy. The little one used to call me a good boy and ruffle my ears. Now he's bigger and he doesn't play with me as much. When he does, it's the best thing in the world.

Everything's getting sort of blurry now, but one thing is clear: The Antec Skeleton is a pricey, but stunning enclosure for computer enthusiasts.

Oh my. Suddenly I feel like a nap. Why is everyone so upset? I've been a good boy, haven't I?

When you are born in a very poor country like Somalia, you have no choice but to use violence to steal from others. There are no options. You cannot build anything because tools and supplies are scarce, so you must get an automatic weapon and tons of ammunition. You cannot farm and you have absolutely no means of traveling to a different climate where it is possible to grow food, so you must get a speedboat to pirate with. No options. No options at all.

Gigabyte, on the other hand, has given the burgeoning gamer market numerous options with their EP45-UD3L motherboard. With the ability to run an Intel Core 2 Quad, Core 2 Extreme, or Core 2 Duo processor in the LGA 775 socket and a capacity of sixteen gigabytes of memory, this mobo doesn't take prisoners - or hostages.

Hostages... oh! Hold on for just one second, I totally forgot to put a gun to this guy's head and yell at those Navy negotiat-

No one understands me. My thoughts are too free to be charted out and accessed like a file on the 640GB Western Digital Caviar Black.

Sometimes I think it might be better if I was sleepwalking through life like everyone around me. Maybe it would be easier to let my brain be shrunk into a tidy little consumerist package, to be as quick to light my face up with an empty smile as the Western Digital's blazing fast 3Gb/s SATA interface.

Man, I took a shitload of pills. Pretty much everything in my mom's medicine cabinet, even those multivitamins and the birth control stuff. I want to escape this world so much. I said as much when I called my closest friends a few moments ago to tell them what I had done and specifically asked them not to call 911, or to bring by some Steven Erikson books when they visit me in the hospital later.

Woah, everything is spinning like the Western Digital's 7200 RPM platter... This time everything feels different. Something's not right.

What's up with this bottle? "Peanut Vaginal Dryness Pills"? No, my allergy! There's so much to live for, like the Western Digital Caviar Black's impressive five-year manufacturer's warranty!

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)