It's that time of year again! Fall mushroom hunting season. Fungus pickers once more descend upon the mushroom groves to turn over rocks and kick apart rotten logs that are probably full of spiders. We all want a heaping basket of delicious heirloom mushrooms to bring home and get us through the winter, but not all mushrooms are created equal. Many of the dangerous ones look harmless and many of the harmless ones look like they would kill you. Some are so poisonous they have been given interesting names like "Destroying Angel" or "Deadly Galerina."
For all you mush heads out there ready to venture out into the musty groin of the woods in search of fungus, we bring you the 50 deadliest mushrooms that you will want to keep out of your basket this year.
- Prince of Blood
- Grandfather Executioner
- Gut Whimper
- Devil's Dragon's Demon
- Fool's Burger (False Hamburger)
- Death of the Ass
- Final Taco
- The Hateful Cone
- Doom Gutters Amanita
- Blue Tooth of the Grotto
- Gore Antler Amanita
- Horse Vomit
- Vomit of the Woods
- Giraffe Vomit
- Vomit of the Valley
- Sweating Chastener
- Dick Misery Amanita
- Fairy Cap Vomit Amanita
- Satan's Spittoon
- Woodsman's Wife
- Bowel Tyrant
- Ophidian Cruelfellow
- Festering Scum Pustule of the Glade
- Pappy's Torment
- Moloch's Gonads
- Rascal of the Woods
- Hateful Umbrella
- Old Scratch's Booger
- Christmas Ham (Death)
- Judas Loaf
- Frog's Ear
- White Guy Saying the N-word Amanita
- Poisoner's Bog Brain
- Vomit Antlers
- Fuzzy Robber's Mask
- Evil Devil's Cursed Evil Bulb
- Sewer Cap (Poisonous)
- Witch's Barf
- Maynard James Keenan's
- Diarrhea Angel
- Poisoner's Hoof
- Death Potato
- Dryad's Toilet
- Delicious Mushroom of Deceit (Angel of Agony and Destruction)
- Swamp Bacon
- Turd of the Devil
- Satan's Nougat
- Pimp of the Woods
- False Pumpkin (Devil's Liar Pumpkin)
- Whisper of the Devil's Angel
- Jeff's Bleeding Vomit Apple
- Dank Dragon
Of course, just naming deadly mushrooms doesn't really help you all that much, but now you will at least know what the coroner will write down in the toxicology report when they analyze the contents of your stomach.
– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)