CRAWLER: The Original Cryptid Hookup Site

SEEKING JERSEY DEVIL TO BE HER ORAL SLAVE (pics) by GymTanLivestockkilling

WHAT: CRYPTID SEEKING CRYPTID

FOR: Something serious

WHERE: Pine Barrens, NJ

I am a full goat-head Jersey Devil currently residing high in the branches of a tree. I am seeking a 100% dominant jersey devil woman who wants to have her scratch patch worshipped 24/7. I will live on my knees and make you bleet long into the night. My big, rectangular teeth and weird goat tongue are there to tease and please your greasy gill. Rub your horny snake ass in my face.

No drugs/disease/psychos PLEASE........

* PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT THIS USER WITH SPAM OR UNSOLICITED MESSAGES

BLOOP SOUND WILL TOP YETI OR SASQUATCH (pics) by bloop_66

WHAT: CRYPTID SEEKING CRYPTID

FOR: Hookup

WHERE: 50° S, 100° W, depth 3 miles

INCREDIBLE DEPTH SOUND HEARD AROUND THE WORLD SEEKS BOTTOM YETI. HYDROPHONES HAVE PICKED ME UP THROUGHOUT THE SEVEN SEAS BUT NOTHING IS GONNA FIND ME WHEN I GO DEEP ON YOUR HUNGRY HIMALAYAN HOLES. I WILL REVERBERATE IN YOUR TRENCH. AM I A LIVING SOUND OR AN ASS-WRECKING FUCKBEAST OF THE ABYSS? FIND OUT!

HUGE LOADS. MAY SLUMBER FOR 1000 YEARS.

MUST BE DISCRETE.

* PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT THIS USER WITH SPAM OR UNSOLICITED MESSAGES

Horny for more strange creatures? Check out Liminal States, the new novel by Zack Parsons.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)