Hurtin' The Hulk

"Hulk's Practical Joke"
The Incredible Hulk #291

When the Hulk sets up camp across the street and "haunts" General John Ryker's home with a hidden walkie-talkie, things quickly get out of hand.

Hulk: Booo! Haha, Ghost Hulk haunting you forever!
Ryker: No! Please, stop!
Hulk: Only one way to stop Ghost Hulk and Ryker knows it.
Ryker: I... see. (blows his head off with his service pistol)
Hulk: Give Hulk candy. Hulk's favorite Sour Patch Kids. Hello? Stupid walkie-talkie run out of batteries.
Ghost Hulk: Living Hulk never had batteries in walkie-talkie.
Hulk: Gasp! But that mean...
Ghost Hulk: Yes. Walkie-talkie actually run on solar cell. Still working. Just quiet because Ryker dead.
Hulk: Oh, okay! Hate going to grocery store for batteries.

"Hulk's New Costume"
The Incredible Hulk #317

Forget Spider-Man's black costume, this is the superhero outfit that people will be talking about for years!

Spider-Man: What the heck are you supposed to be? Some sort of steering wheel?
Iron Man: No, it's obvious he's taking a stance against smoking. I commend you, Hulk. Cancer is no laughing matter and it's about time one of us did something about it.
Hulk: Hah! Stupid pals, Hulk's costume means "not letter O".
Spider-Man: What?
Hulk: Look close. Is O with line through it. Means not. Might have to tilt your head to see, maybe squeeze eyelids a little.
Iron Man: And what does the O stand for?
Hulk: No, you miss the point. Is not the letter O.

"Learning The News About The Space Shuttle Challenger"
The Incredible Hulk #373

Most Americans remember exactly where they were when they heard that the Challenger exploded. Now we can all experience that fateful day through the eyes of the Hulk.

Hulk: Heh... heh heh. Did you hear news? Ha!
Hulk's Girlfriend: HA HA HA!
Hulk: HAHAHA! First eggs good for you, now eggs bad? Come on! HA HA!
Hulk's Girlfriend: Oh, I thought you were referring to the Challenger explosion.
Hulk: What that have to do with eggs?

"Hulk Forgets He Can Punch Things"
The Incredible Hulk #390

Why would a man who shattered an asteroid twice the size of Earth with a single punch use guns? How did someone with so many publically documented emotional outbursts pass a background check?

Hulk: Argh, trigger broke again! Fifth puny gun today!
Referee: This is the worst boxing match I've ever officiated. I'm calling an end to this bloodbath of a fight!
Joe Glass: No... one more round. (coughs up blood) I've got him on the ropes!

"Pushed Into The Pool"
The Incredible Hulk #451

How will the Hulk respond when he's the butt of a cruel joke in Manhattan's biggest party of the year?

Hulk: What the big idea? Hulk wearing new Italian leather shoes!
Cameron: Calm down, fat stuff. It was just a joke.
Hulk: You pay for this!
Cameron: Why's the water turning purple?
Hulk: Haha, told you you'd pay.
Cameron: That's not even my pool.
Hulk: It not even my pee. Hulk brought Galactus' urine just in case. Checkmate!

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)