 | Material about upcoming race wars not necessary and poorly cited. |
 | Pages missing or I lost them. |
 | Paper conflicts with deep-seated personal issues I neglected to share with the class. |
 | Protagonist in short story is obviously you. |
 | Most papers don't begin with the word "firstly." |
 | I would like to buy drugs from you after class. |
 | You obviously have new and interesting opinions about abortion, euthanasia, and/or the death penalty. Thanks for sharing. |
 | I would give you the grade you deserve, but I am an indentured servant whose low wages are completely reliant on student evaluations. |
 | How in the name of all that's holy did you manage to graduate from high school? |
 | Have a great summer! |
–
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- Return to Clownportal.com
- I Squoze the Tiny Hand of Kate
- Blue Stripe - The Life and Times of a Weyland-Yutani Cryotech
- Nascar and Sex Advice
- 0-day Release Blog
