BiGDOG's DOG BLOG: Tellin' It Like It Is!

This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.

Weekly Spottings

Posted by -=BiGDOG=- at 3:47 PM.

BiGDOG's is always on the lookout for any good dogs. What can I say, I got an eye for this stuff. Here's a rundown of all the furballs I spotted this week.

• Magnifique: More like Wagnifique. This little gal was wagging her tail faster than a hummingbird flaps its wings. What the hell does she have to be so happy about?
• Shut the f*** up, buddy.
• Squeeze: Saw this little yapper outside the Petsmart. You know you're a Grade A f***up when your owners won't even take you inside a pet store. Shot this dumb pooch the bird and rolled on with a big grin on my face. Little guy never even saw it comin'.
• Iron Buttress: Good grief! I haven't seen this dog in years, and let me tell you, he must have spent all those years eating butter. He looked like a hairy Jabba the Hut. I think there were smaller dogs stuck in his fat folds. BiGDOG is betting $10 this dog drops dead by the end of the week.
• Excuse Me: No, Excuse You. Excuse Me's owners picked an appropriate name, but they ought to have had the common decency to leave this exceptionally flatulent dog at home.
  
• Signifier: Pretty sharp lookin' for a Greyhound. Probably real fast, I bet. Wouldn't mind seeing this one race off a cliff. BiGDOG's got no love for overly-pointy dogs.
• Travesty: Good to see this guy at the dog park. Seemed to have a lot of enthusiasm and participated a lot. Love to see that sort of thing.
• Occupier: The only thing this dog is occupying is the fire hydrant. Never seen a dog urinate so much. He spent a good 15 minutes just peeing on that hydrant. Either BiGDOG got abducted by aliens and lost some time, or that dog has a bladder the size of a gas tank. Where did all that urine come from???

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Dogranks = ASS****S

Posted by -=BiGDOG=- at 4:28 PM.

After calling out some idiot newb for suggesting that Sycamore was a better dog than Panzer, I got banned from that stupid website. Turns out the idiot newb was the site owner. Guess he can't handle constructive criticism. Goddamn typical.

BiGDOG is gonna start bearing his teeth if this shit doesn't shape up soon.

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BiGDOG'S Not Playing Around Anymore

Posted by -=BiGDOG=- at 5:36 PM.

Not giving up!!!

I have fought too damn hard to get where I am and I don't need a bunch of useless idiots with one tenth my knowledge holding me back!! Guess this is how Kevin Mitnick must have felt.

This business is getting out of hand. I go ONLINE to STATE FACTS. IF I interject a little OPINION, that is my RIGHT. To get banned or put in the doghouse is absolute BULL****. UNACCEPTABLE BULL****!

I am sick to my stomach with rage and ready to kick some ass. If any of you idiots want to put your money where your mouth is, let me know. I'll be happy to punch you in your stupid, money-filled mouth.

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TAKING A BREAK

Posted by -=BiGDOG=- at 12:52 PM.

Spent the weekend in the hospital. Turns out I developed an ulcer. My vet (j/k my doctor) said I needed to take a step back and avoid causes of stress for awhile. Funny thing is I'm not under any stress.

No, wait, I take that back. I'm man enough to admit that I am stressed. I'm stressed to see all these idiots who don't know jack shit about the dogs in this town shredding the constitution like it was some lousy homework. I have a right to air my views and share my wisdom. THIS IS ONE DOG YOU CAN'T STICK A MUZZLE ON.

Anyway, BiGDOG is gonna take some time off. If you support this cause of free speech, please add this image to your sig on all the dog sites saying you support BiGDOG. Sooner or later these sons of bitches will have to start respecting the goddamn rights of man.

Support BiGDOG!!

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– BiGDOG (@Livestock)