The Best Gas Chamber Threads of 2004

This guy wanted us to know about a really funny email message that was forwarded to him by his mother.My favorite forum on Something Awful is without a doubt the Comedy Gas Chamber. Here you will find threads posted by people who just couldn't get the hang of communicating with a large number of people on an internet message board. These people tried so hard and got so far. But in the end it did not even matter. I personally check the Gas Chamber everyday for exciting bathroom reading material. There is no better entertainment than reading threads by forum rejects. The majority of users who get gassed consist of teenage males who have not quite gotten the hang of life and have absolutely no clue what they are doing. Did someone wrong you and you need some quick ideas on how to get back at them? Take it elsewhere, because we sure as hell don't want to hear about it. Is your dad going to take away the keys to the Lexus unless you bring up your grade point average to a 2.0? Go jump off a cliff. Got an awesome website that you know we just absolutely love to see? Please feel free to drown yourself in your bathtub. Feel the need to tell us about a really insignificant detail in your life? Go back to Fark. God I love the Gas Chamber. As someone who gasses hundreds of threads every single day it makes me feel like an American hero everytime I press that magic button.

But no matter how great the Gas Chamber is I suspect that it may not be getting the attention it deserves. Many people are too lazy to scroll their browser all the way to the bottom of the forums index and consequently the Gas Chamber does not get the traffic it should be getting. I want to change all this. Today I am featuring some of my favorite gassed threads of 2004. This fits in the whole New Year's theme. It also means I don't have to write as much myself because I'm lazier than a guy who is really, really, really... oh fuck it. Please enjoy today's article because if you don't Lowtax will beat me.

We begin with IcedFlame, who really loves his anime.

It is very easy for someone to fall in love with these chacters. They way they are set up and how they act is something that I believe is very hard not to admire. I have seen the minigoddess series and I will more then likly never watch it again I have to admit that Oh My Goddess is the reason I started to really enjoy anime OMG is my number 1 anime.

Apart from being batshit insane this guy apparently loves anime characters. Let me ask you, would you really want to be friends with a guy like this? I'd hate to sound mean but I avoid people like this like the plague. I don't understand how they can function in any type of social relationship. They just love their anime characters too much. I went out with this girl once who said she needed to be home by 7PM to feed her Sailor Moon doll. Creepy.

Here is a never before seen picture of Lowtax gassing a Something Awful Forums member. Captain Goatse was given 25 to life for impersonating a mail carrier.

The illuminati will stamp me anti-semite for bringing this up, but really, what is the deal with the jew agenda in Spielberg / Lucas movies? I'm really really sorry that Hitler fried you granpa, but seriously do you people have to remind us about it every day?

The jew agenda won't make any difference what so ever. People kill people and mass murderers continue to exist. I think the jew collective should take an example from the Russians who worship the guy who killed over 30 million of them. Any how many were the jew? Rite, didn't think so.

Now we get to my point, why to retards like Spielberg and Lucas wrap the jew issue into every single movie they make (with the exeption of Jurassic Park), AI, Starwars, Indiana Jones and the list goes on. Do they really feel that violated or are they trying to separate their race from the scum by heightening their sorrow?

Oh boy. You know, if this were posted by anybody else I would shrug it off as a joke. But let me tell you, I know Captain Goatse in person and this dude is a real anti-semite. He has all sorts of anti-Jewish propaganda adorned on his walls. He has written books on why Jewish people should ride a different bus than the "normals". This guy is a real lunatic.

Pmarker forgot to take his Ritalin and posted this hum-dinger of a thread.

Send PICS of the dumbest shit you are doing from now until midnight tomorrow night!

We know you will be drinking so lets not be original and post PICS of beer cans or a group hugging each other while drinking!!!!!! Everyone will be doing that!

RULES:

There are no rules. It's the end of the year dammit. "pss, I heard that if you break a forum rule, they start you off on a clean slate at the new year."

The following msg. above is "bullshit". Please abide by forum rules.

Serious stuff below.....

We may be having fun in our part of the world but we need to remember those in Asia..........

This guy sounds like a moron from one of the many forums featured on Weekend Web who runs off at the mouth like an A.D.D. suffering bastard child. There is a part of the brain that tells people when to shut up. Pmarker apparently lacks this skill. I understand the part where he asks people to post images of themselves doing outrageous things on New Year's Eve. That part I get. What I don't understand is the part about the forum rules, and the quip about the tsunami in Asia. What do either of these things have to do with his underlying idea? It's as if I posted a thread about a robotic vacuum and said, "Even though we are having fun with robotic vacuums in our part of the world we should remember those who died in the 9-11 tragedy." What does that have to do with anything?

The Evil Knight has a question about Half-Life 2.

I heard when Half Life2 was in development that it would be better then Halo2 by far. Is Half Life2 worth the $55 plus the monthly fee?

Oh boy, misinformation and a rotting brain full of dead mice. A winning combination!

Medikit got in before the clock struck midnight.

This thread is for people who barely made the year of their regdate. It's for people like me who barely avoided 03. It's also for people who just registered today so you can be 'd before it's too late. My first post on SA was an img I grabbed from CNN of a mistake made on their front page. Then a lot of people yelled at me and told me how stupid I was and said something like "Way to barely miss 03". Feel free to talk about your first SA posting experience, review 2003, or make fun of me. Happy New Years Eve everyone.

I imagine a lot more people are going to yell at you and tell you how stupid you are. I don't understand this obsession with the registration date. No matter which date you registered you will still be a bleeding faggot!

SoheilsX wants more useless shit.

Hi guys, i really need opinions on what to ask for from my parents for my b-day.

I am a gamer, and am into electronic gadgets, but they have to be useful. Stuff that i would basically think to myself "oh sweet!" if i saw someone else with it out and about.

Max price is around 350-400 canadian at the max.

Thanks in advance for your ideas.

I have an idea. If you don't know what you want, why ask your parents to waste their money to buy you shit? HEY MOM AND DAD GoKu55569XSSJ SUGGESTED YOU BUY ME A SCOOTER! PLEASE BUY ME A SCOOTER! Shit! What's wrong with these kids? How about you greedy little pissants ask for nothing and just thank your parents for putting up with your miserable ass? If you get a present for any reason just be glad someone else thought of you. If you really want something go get a job and work for it.

prettiegin is big hit at parties.

This is totally going to get some sneers, but whatever.

Here I go(in order of hotness):

1) Lulu -Final Fantasy 10
2) Nina Williams -Tekken 4
3) Quistis -Final Fantasy 8

And the guys:

1) SCORPION FROM MORTAL KOMBAT 2) Jin - Tekken 3/4/5
3) Squall - Final Fantasy 8

Oh boy, more lusting after pretend characters. Is it so hard to go outside and meet new people that you have to post threads about all kinds of "hot" video game characters? These people have got to be the whitest things that have ever existed.

These forum members abused a telephone relay service for the deaf. Now look at them! Ha ha! SubaruSam forgot to grow up.

I got my final grades from the this semester, that including a B one C an audit and an F. Now that my dad found out he is superpissed and has stoped finishing up my 65 mercury cyclone which is almost done except for the interiot, which we have, and repaint and posibbly 3 dueces and a triangle intake and teardrop hood. Either way im pissed, also i have to stop smoking pot because he suspects me of it and he told me not to get drunk tommarow night. ALl this bullshit goes away after next semester if pass all my classes and raise my gpa. and retake biology in the summer. but he told me that if i got drunk tonite it woudl mean lots of trouble.

now, as i am 20 years old, he cant realy tell me to do shit, but he pays my way totally, so i do mostly listen to him, but not because he gives me money but because he is my dad and the source of infinite knowledge and wisdom. but damnit, this is bullshit, im probably going to get drunk tommarow night. what do you goons think?

How do these people get through life? This is why I never want to have kids. I never want to have to deal with a mooching piece of shit like this in my life.

nightmaredns has one hell of a deal for you! Take advantage of this now!

It's the christmas season and I need money. My landlord for some reason is charging me $300 extra for rent this month because my check bounced. I have until tomorrow to come up with $850 or I get kicked out and charges filed. Yay.

I only need $200 tops. If 200 people could help me out this christmas season and donate a dollar each, I'll give all donators free email for life. I don't have much else that I could give to 200 people, but if someone donates more I'd up emails space you get. That's about all I can offer.

SA is one of my last resources. Help a brotha out. Paypal a dollar to

Thanks kindly. Hopefully I'm not out ten bucks for this.

You mean if I pay you a dollar you'll give me completely 100 percent FREE EMAIL?!?! Holy shit! This is the deal of a lifetime! I can't wait. If it's free then you can't lose! Here's 300 dollars. Give me 300 free email accounts please. Oh man!

TheJunkyardGod is very thankful.

Yeah I know it's stupid.

But I would just like to thank those in charge for not banning me for all my stupid posts. I really enjoy this site and i'm glad I paid to join.

Happy Holidays everyone.

Well, you're welcome! We do our very best here at the Something Awful Forums and we are glad that we havn't decided to ban you yet. Don't worry though, it'll happen eventually. Happy Arbor Day!

rognaroo got into mama's liquor cabinent again.

Walker TX Ranger - y'know where GTWs from an all... no blood no guts stupider than, well, the RIAA or something.. that's my take, any takers?

What could this mean? Is the RIAA planning to send Chuck Norris after those who download illegally shared files? Maybe!

Easy is out of the loop.

Man, I'm tired of all the false media and stupid rumors that go around. I recently discovered this kickass site below and feel I should share it with you all. http://www.snopes.com/

Thanks for this! I've never heard of this site before! It's really awesome! Oh god my dick is so hard right now!

joshy doesn't like his father very much.

My dad's birthday is coming up in like a year (as does everyone else's) and I want to build him a boat. He has always wanted to sail around the world in a catamaran. I want to make it special by building it my self. One problem, I don't have any plans. Do any of you know how to build one or where a site is that will tell me how to build one?

Here's another reason I don't want to have kids. They'll inevitably build me a crappy boat and send me on a trip around the world knowing full well it will sink and I will drown. Goddamn kids.

HAmbONE is really angry about his shopping experience.

I bought a used copy of Kingdom Hearts over a month ago from EB games

I told them up front that I was concerned with the scratches in the disc

They failed to mention Kingdom Hearts would be re-released in a month

My copy glitches out in the final fucking cinema

My receipt doesn't work cause it is "too worn"

Fuck them

I am pretty sure you are the one who got fucked! Ha ha!

Goku is lost. GameFAQs is that way.

I mean it's harder to get a good framerate because you need amazing system right? And also there is perfect dark goldeneye etc. on the console and just countersrtike on PC? Why do peopl ehate console shooters. :?

Oh Goku, I don't know why people play first-person-shooters on the PC. They are simply lost souls who don't know the true way.

Here is an example of a normal Something Awful Forums poster. Be like this guy! powerofknow thinks that BUSH = HITLER!!!

HELP W SEE HE’S NOT WANTED
Knowing that there is a chance W might win and take a second term, I am personally calling all Bush haters to join in making him look like the pile of shit he is. If indeed this world is punished with a second term, Bush should receive the same welcome he got in his first inaugural parade.
DEMONSTRATIONS AND PROTESTS IF BUSH IS RE-ELECTED
In his first presidential parade he was forced to ride the length of his parade inside the bullet-proof limo. On International television the world watched as the most powerful man in the world was booed and disgraced. Let’s make last year look like a warm welcome. Eggs, fruit, potatoes – be creative – don’t let him walk that road with being pelted by shit.
YOU CAN HELP
This is a call for you to get involved in protesting what you think is wrong. Things like this don’t just materialize; individuals and organizations make this possible. There’s no reason goons can’t organize something like this, and we should.
I am just one person, not that smart or wealthy. But I do have an intense hate for W. I know there are plenty of people out there who can help and who want to, so let’s do this shit. Fershizle.
We need ( at least) :
Lawyers – To give legal advice for demonstrations and represent individuals.
Protestors/Demonstrators – To do the labor.
Donations – to feed and house protestors, pay lawyers, organize and communicate during protests.
Hosts – to give room/board to protestors, in the D.C. vicinity.
People – this is the beginning, so anyone with anything is more than welcome.

Sure, I'd love to get arrested for your batshit insane demonstration because you got a stupid idea from Fahrenheit 9/11. It'll be great!

Finally, NeoDeath is going to go far in life.

moved from up nOrth to down south, i havent enjoyed the taste of weed for like a month, it sucks.

I got a job at some fast food joint, and pretty much most of them are wemon in their late 30's to 40's and are devorced (hahahaha), i'm at the ripe at of 19 (look out ladies) and college bound.

Half of them do drugs and i've asked a handfull of them to help me get alil high, theyve given me their phone numbers to call to arrange a pick up, but when i do they never answer, and dont call me back. When i confront them about it at work they pull a 180 and are like "ohh we can't help you cause our dealers say they dont know you"

WTF THATS WHY YOUR THE MIDDLE MAN BIATCHS!!!

It's friggn retarded, if they didnt wana help me in the first place dont toy with my dope-sick heart...

i prolly am missing a rule of the drug connections but come on!! i dont know any1 down here, i want pot.... and rather than walking around town asking strangers i ask people at work and they just arnt helping BAAH!!!!!

I hope you like sucking cock for marijuana.

I hope that this update has shed some light on the Comedy Gas Chamber and has spread awareness of the many treasures that lay inside. You never know what you might find in the Gas Chamber, but rest assured it will be a truly horrible experience.

– Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez