BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: Clumpy

This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.

127 reviews for Clumpy - Displaying 124-127

Best Clumpy Moment
Posted by Woofman [Read other reviews by Woofman]
(5 Bones)

Yeah it sucks Clumpy didn't know when to quit and drank himself to death, but a man has gotta live. I'll never forget the time he ran out in the field right before the homecoming game and started humping the other team's mascot. I swear everybody on campus bought that dog a shot, and he lapped each one up with delight. That dog's bladder was like a still for two weeks after that.

Was once a true party animal
Posted by legalizeit [Read other reviews by legalizeit]
(2 Bones)

I'll never forget the time me and some bros distracted a bunch of the sorority girls while Clumpy snuck into their house and made off with their panties. This dog was OFF THE HOOK. For awhile at least.

Me and my bros built him a doghouse out behind the frat house. We let him stay indoors but we thought it would be a good gesture to a totally solid bro. To break ground on it, we hotboxed the thing with Clumpy inside it. Dude came out and chased his tail for like six hours. Some real ouroboros shit going on there.

After awhile he started getting too sick and was puking and crapping all over the place, so we had to kick him out. Dude would sit on the porch begging for a beer. Every now and then we'd give him some PBR out of pity. He was once the top dog, but man did he turn into a buzzkill. He'd try to show up to parties and it was horrible. We'd have to chase him away with brooms and hope he didn't make a mess.

NO ROLE MODEL
Posted by BiGDog [Read other reviews by BiGDog]
(3 Bones)

Yeah, Clumpy was a character. If you enjoy dogs that act like juvenile frat boys, he was definitely one of the best. But if you value a dog with distinction and discipline, look elsewhere. I've tried to make that point on every forum I've ever been to, but as usual people see a dog in a hat and glasses and instantly think it's the best thing ever.

It's a good thing there are no sheepdogs nearby at the moment, or they'd be herding all you all out to pasture. It's no different than people swallowing the BS the MSM spews out all the time. What's even more insulting about Clumpy is that he is essentially just rehashing Buzz's old gimmick of being a party animal. And everybody back on the Canine Connection BBS condemned Buzz for being an awful mutt. A few years after Buzz dies Clumpy picks up the same act and suddenly it's fresh and amazing. What a load of crap.

As far as college dogs go, substance always trumps style. That's why dogs like Oppenheimer, Cecile, Montserrat, Van Buren, Lancaster, and Azimuth lead the pack. When I think of fun loving dogs, I don't think of stupid novelty acts like Clumpy, I think of inspiring dogs like Panzer, BiGDog's all time top pick.

What's that? DID --BiGDOG-- JUST YANK YOUR WAGGY TAIL?

Click here to see BiGDOG's Kennel

More than meets the eye
Posted by K9Fan [Read other reviews by K9Fan]
(3 Bones)

What a great shame it was that this otherwise fine dog wandered into the lives of such cruel people. He lived harder than any dog I've seen, but I don't think he was ever truly happy. All the partying, drinking, smoking, getting high, what did it accomplish? None of that ever did anything for him. He just wanted to be loved, and nobody really loved him I don't think. They just liked seeing how far he would go.

There was a spot in the park under a nice tree he would go. He'd sit in the shade under that tree for hours, just soaking in the fresh air and thinking. He always seemed like he had a lot of regrets, but was too fearful of making changes.

They found him under that tree in the park. At least he died someplace peaceful.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)