Bad Nerd
I make candy game.
Good Nerd
The energy sector isn't a game, it's serious, and I developed a way to generate power from bicycles dropped into remote villages. We link that power into a larger electrical grid so that we can pay villagers a subsistence wage and get them to power our cities with clean energy they renew themselves by having their children pedal. You should see the calf muscles on these kids.
Bad Nerd
You can mine candy in candy game.
Cool Nerd
Well, I streamlined the prototyping of a new type of missile that burrows underground and waits for someone. It's sort of like a mine, but because it has guidance it qualifies as "prolonged loiter time munitions" and avoids violating the Geneva Convention. We can export it to Saudi Arabia.
Bad Nerd
I went to comic convention for panel on candy game.
Cool Nerd
My code is being used in the panel for a self-driving car that runs on blood. It's actually a protein in blood, which we will sell as a fuel. Blood is just one way to get it into the tank.
Not-Getting-It Girl
It's not a competition...
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- The Most Controversial IGN Reviews
- Welcome to the Brotherhood of Steel
- Fallout 4 Takes Environmental Storytelling to the Next Level
- What's Coming To Netflix In 2016
- In Memoriam: Jihadi John
