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Women may have great tits, but can they work? Top menstronomers suggest that women might be a great boon for workplace productivity, if offered as rewards to efficient employees.

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Xerox machines save you the work of copying documents by hand, but at what cost? Must the wizened transcribers of the world lay down their quills and, facing the shame of unemployment, hang themselves with their own venerable beards? Certainly not. Set them to work copying bibles, and God shall smile upon your ventures.

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Yelling at your coworkers, contrary to popular belief, does not increase their productivity. Like the white rhino, they may become frightened and hostile when cornered, trampling and goring you with their aphrodisiac horns.

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Zo long, friends! May this advice sound business drive you to new heights of workplace potency!

– Dr. David Thorpe (@Arr)