T-Force

Of course, no robot movie would be complete without having the worst possible example of humanity around to provide a nice contrast, and T-Force delivers in spades with Lieutenant Jack a.k.a. Detective Derp Diggler. He's supposed to be your standard old school macho-policeman, except his characterization is so insanely over-the-top that it feels more like a sloppy, half-assed porn parody than anything else. Case in point: he likes to spend his evenings off hustling himself at holo-pool and then guzzling an entire bottle of Jack Daniels at the bar alone before going home to pass out on the floor under his car while tuning up his engine (we've all been there, right fellas?)

As we've learned by now, this movie is an utter wasteland of original thinking, and so of course Lt. Jack likes to constantly rant about how much he hates robots until the one good robot gets assigned to be his partner, and he learns a valuable lesson about diversity in the workplace. They'd better learn how to work together fast, because they're the only thing standing between us and a world where these other robo-assholes can run around freely doing shit like this:

Most of that just raises questions that we don't want the answers to, especially the robo-sex scene, about which the less is said the better. Come to think of it, even though the whole future setting is completely half-assed (except for a brief foray into Mad Max with some shitty dune buggies), this is supposedly a movie about a society where robots are everywhere. Robot waitresses, robot strippers, robot...well, those are the only ones we saw, but we'll assume that's just because we're stuck with Lt. Jack's sour mash-soaked point of view. Presented with this golden chance at social commentary, the director of T-Force predictably responded with a big pile of explosions and gratuitous nudity. Although he did manage to strike on a level of existential despair that Sartre himself would have been proud of with the concept of Robo-Hell:

Jesus Christ, he's just going to start screaming "kill me" on infinite loop after ten minutes of that existence. We know we would.

– Garrett "Hydrogen" Neil and Sean "Trillaphon" Neil (@trillaphon)