The Vein: Well, we're entering hour 8 of the competition, and after that surprise Scuba Seagal and the well-timed Scythe Headlift, it's really looking like this Hide or Die (tm) match might just be in the bag for Team Monster.
Haymaker: Morale is definitely not high on the human team right now, Vein - uh oh, and it looks like they've stumbled into the lair of the Cave Troll! Our prisoner du jour is of course the one and only Hogwash School of Magic alumna Kathy Gryffindor.
The Vein: Too bad they couldn't have chained her up outside an acting school, eh Hank?
Haymaker: Ha Ha Ha - right you are, T.V.
The Vein: Ah Ha Ha Ha.
Haymaker: Looks like the hiders are wisely retreating to put Kathy well out of earshot range.
The Vein: Hugging the walls and moving as slowly as possible seems like an unorthodox strategy for dealing with a monster whose powers are entirely wall-based, Hank, but maybe that's just the kind of unexpected move that they need to pull off the win at this late stage.
Haymaker: It's a bold gamble, Vein, and it looks like it's paying off, since they've managed to make all the way to the Sunny D(tm) Solar Lounge and Dead End without being picked off! We're getting close to the buzzer, Gryknarl is going to have to -
Haymaker & The Vein: Oooh!
The Vein: And there you have it, an incredible buzzer-beating kill by Gryknarl the Handicapable, showing great form as always with a Two-Handed Hodor Headgrab. That's a new course record for the Monster from Missisauga.
Haymaker: A near-flawless example of cave monstering there, Zane, and a heart-pounding finish truly worthy of that giant commemorative chocolate horror sculpture, provided of course by Wee Willy Winky's Whimsical Chocolaterium and Exploratory Surgery Center.
The Vein: That's all from us, folks. See you next year!
| Plot | -10 |
|---|---|
| Acting | -9 |
| Special Effects | -9 |
| Directing | -10 |
| Music / Sound | -9 |
| Overall | -47/50 |
[1] Wee Willy Winky's cannot be held legally responsible for any children captured and pressed into homoerotic servitude, child soldiering, or any other forms of indenturement while on tour of their facilities. If your child is ironically transmogrified into any form of allegorical fruit, vegetable, monster, and/or sugary treat on the premises, Wee Willy Winky's reserves the right to perform invasive medical procedures on them for marketing research purposes without prior consent. Please refrain from saying and/or doing anything while at Wee Willy Winky's.
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