The Devil's Tomb

JOHN LITHGOW begins reading some of the children's poetry he likes to write to them, instantly disabling them both, and prepares to eat what's left of their brains while making pithy comments to himself about the decor. But before he can finish killing them horribly, their STUPID FRIENDS bust in to save them.

Cpt. Cuba "Barracuba" Gooding Jr.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, JOHN LITHGOW! - NOT ON MY WATCH, LOCK AND LOAD, WE'VE GOT COMPANY, JOHN LITHGOW!

Demonic Possession of John Lithgow

WE ARE NOT JOHN.

DPJL

WE ARE CRAIG. BOW BEFORE CRAIG.

Cpt. Barracuba

Oh is that about a fact?

DPCL

AFFIRMATIVE. THAT INFORMATION IS CORRECT.

Cpt. Barracuba

Well WE are COCKED LOCKED AND READY TO ROCK, SO WELCOME TO THE ROCK, BITCH! OR SHOULD I SAY ROCK & ROLL?!

CPT. BARRACUBA pulls the pin from a frag grenade and rolls it across the floor toward DPCL.

Cpt. Barracuba

SHOW ME THE MONEY! WHOOO, WHOOO!

Cpt. Barracuba

It is what it is, but guess what Craig Lithgow? I'm about to throw you under the bus. I'm just keeping it real, baby.

DPCL

WE KNOW NOT TO WHAT OR WHOM YOU REFER, STRANGEMAN.

SMASH CUT TO: CLOSEUP OF RON PERLMAN SMIRKING DIRECTLY INTO CLOSED CIRCUIT CAMERA AND LIGHTING A STOGIE

Ron Perlman

Hi folks, Ron Perlman here. Just taking a quick break from the action to let you know that Satan the Evil One is King, and I'm possessed by an alien angel-devil trapped in ice for all eternity. Well, I'll see you.