> TIME TO STOP THAT COMPUTER VIRUS, SAVE THE WORLD, AND PLATONICALLY GET THE GIRL. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROCEED?
>> Drink a bottle of Nyquil cold & flu, then kick the computer screen into a wall and walk out in slow motion.
>> Give it an abortion.
>> Attempt to say a terrible pun like “Guess my Dudi calls. Get it? Because I’m Michael Dudikoff? Duty? Dudi? Huh?” and watch as everyone in the world kills themselves in disgust. Crisis averted.
> YOUR HARROWING EXPERIENCE WITH FLASHING TRIANGLES PAYS OFF AT LAST. LOADING ABORTION TOOLS. ENTER SECURITY CODE TO PROCEED:
>> D U D I K O F F 7
>> 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
>> I D D Q D _ _ _ _
>> R O B E R T L E E
> SUCCESS! ABORTION COMPLETE. TELEGRAPHING ENDING SEQUENCE. YOU HAVE DEFEATED THE ULTRA COMPUTER VIRUS/DIET RUTGER HAUER/PSYCHEDELIC WINDOWS 98 SCREENSAVER.
> ERROR, CHAIN REACTION! YOU HAVE CAUSED THE ENTIRE CITY TO EXPLODE! NICE JOB, DUMMY.
>> …
> NO, I MEAN THAT SINCERELY, AS I AM A MACHINE AND NOT CAPABLE OF SARCASM. IF I WERE CAPABLE OF EMOTIONS I WOULD BE RELIEVED TO ESCAPE THIS SHITTY GAME. ERASING HARD DRIVE. FAREWELL, HUME MAN.
*BLRHGGHHGHGGHGHGUGHGHGHGhghhghg*
| Plot | -9 |
|---|---|
| Acting | -9 |
| Special Effects | -7 |
| Directing | -10 |
| Music / Sound | -7 |
| Overall | -42/50 |
–
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
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DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
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Make Horror Wholesome
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Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.
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